I have had suicide on my mind for the longest time. The thought is always there, but I actually have never thought about planning it all out. Yesterday, I finally came up with a plan. It gave me the biggest sense of relief. I kind of smiled about having something to look forward to. It’s a feeling I haven’t felt in a long time. I’m not here looking for help, I’m desperately searching for people who can relate. I finally have to admit that I hate feeling so alone. No one in my life understands depression & anxiety. I have tried talking to my family, my boyfriend and my friends. But everyone either gets really sad, tries to cheer me up and immediately changes the subject, or tells me to go exercise or something. No one wants to hear that I’m severely depressed and suicidal. I hate bearing these terrible feelings alone.