Hi I'm new here and not sure what to say really. I've never been one to come online shouting my problems because I never used to have any. Now I do and I simply can't cope. I've started having nightmares about 7 months ago, recurring ones from my childhood. Always the same and containing some awful things happening to me. I barely sleep anymore because I'm afraid to. My boyfriend whom I've lived with for 6 months doesn't understand. I don't think he even cares. He spends most of his free time chatting to a girl from the Internet who I'm not meant to know about. My parents and I have a strained relationship because I refused to go to college so that I could pursue my dream. That hasn't worked out too well either. My friends are tired listening to me and often get frustrated and tell me that I need to fix things and stop whinging. I have no one to talk to and I'm so overwhelmed. Suicide is what gives me hope and calms me at night when I'm so afraid. I feel I need to die I feel so powerless and by choosing to die to gives me some back.. Please tell me I'm not alone or losing my mind.