Drowning

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Kaish, Apr 18, 2013.

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  1. Kaish

    Kaish Well-Known Member

    My birthday is in a few minutes and all I can think of is how unbearable things are. I got difficult to accept news this evening and I don't know how I am going to get through this. I am struggling so much financially and had two strings of bad luck earlier in the week. I need a job so badly. I had one, but out of the blue they went on break and told me work would resume in a couple weeks, only to never return. I lost valuable time when that happened. I don't know how people do this. I don't know how I'm going to do it. I have done so well lately and learned to cope without thinking of suicide, but right now I wish I could have those thoughts and maybe even carry it out. Instead I'm trying to be strong, but I do not feel strong one bit. It is so sad. I feel I finally recovered from my abusive past, but now I it looks like I recovered just a little late for things to be okay for me. I might have to go back to the abusive environment and then who knows how long it will take for me to get out again and to be okay. This is why I wish I could be suicidal and just end it all, knowing I had an amazing last year of my life and went out somewhat on top.
     
  2. prakash

    prakash Well-Known Member

    Be brave and strong. Never give up.
     
  3. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    How horrible to get bad news just before your birthday. And on top of a bad week. After an abusive childhood it is easy for us to slip back at setbacks. Think instead of how far you've come and how well you've done. That's your base that you have achieved by and for yourself. It may not seem like it right now but weather this storm and you can go on to achieve even more.
     
  4. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am sorry for your bad week - and the misfortune with your job. Use this time to look for better opportunities. I hope you can avoid a step backwards and you should reach out for any help you can get through government services to help you stay at least somewhat solvent while trying to regain your traction. If nothing else your past has taught you how to be strong and weather this new storm.

    Take Care and Be Safe

    Ben
     
  5. Kaish

    Kaish Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the response guys. I'm ending the day a little better. Somehow I have summon the strength to put in job applications. About 45. I'm feeling hopeful that maybe something can happen, but the job market is also real bad. I have been making calls to see if there is specific stores/locations hiring. About 25 calls and no openings. So I could be out of luck, but I will keep going and hope to find that one place that is hiring. It only takes one after all. I caught myself earlier saying how this is the worst birthday in a long time. But then I remembered how as a child my mother never remembered my birthday, so I have to appreciate the fact that life has improved since then. I'm stressed to the max, but somehow I'll get through. Thanks again for the supportive replies.
     
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun hope you hear back soon and good for you hun putting out all those applications great job. Hugs to you ok
     
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