hi this is My first post I am a 27 yr old grl from Texas. I have been a drug addict for atleast 5 yrs now. I have always been depressed but since finding the living and breathing hell of prescription pain killers/seditives/alcohol/etc it has gotten much much worse the bad thing is When I dont have drugs I am suicidal, but when i am on them especially when i am on a binge for days I am even worse, I hate life i have been engaged, fired from my wonderfull job, been to jail, moved back home, lost all friends... in the past 2 years. I am anorexic but recently I have been eating because I have been off the pills for 2 weeks now, I feel like I am getting Fat although I know I am still only a size 3 I hate food I hate that I am eating now and I hate that I am alone with no friends no one no job and I sit here all alone day after day and contemplate the freaking courage to cut myself deeper this time.I wish i could go to sleep and never wake up doesnt that sound the easy way that way my pain and lonleyness is gone i am getting to old to be alone single with zero kids. I am a very atractive girl but the guys I date end up thinking im totaly f-ing nuts!! I feel alone even in a room with a milion people... I am not going to eat starting tomarow. period. And if i dont get any drugs soon I dont know what will happen. I am wondering if anyone has a problem with depression/ suicide and drug addiction besides me am i the only one out there????