Drugs as a form of self harm?

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by fromthatshow, Aug 23, 2008.

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  1. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Lately I've been going to the store and getting over the counter drugs just to have more pills. I also started smoking on occasion and last night smoked weed. I know there is nothing wrong with smoking, but for me, it feels like a form of self harm. I never used to smoke because I didn't want to do that to myself. Now I feel that life is so messed up, that I do not care what I put my body through. I do not care how sick I get from the things that I put into my body. I do it when I know I'll get sick. Anyone else use drugs in this way?
  2. Dana..

    Dana.. Well-Known Member

    No, but i know it's really bad for you.
    And can muck up your insides.
    But i'm not goingn to give you a lecture
  3. bhawk

    bhawk Well-Known Member

    one of my ex's used to use drugs as self harm and it took her a long while to realise the extent she was damaging herself. It is a form of self harm that leads to longer lasting scars, whether you can see them or not.
    The one thing i will ask is that you think seriously about smoking, it makes a slave of you for the rest of your life.
  4. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    I think this is a form of self harm, when I feel bad I take a shitload of headache tablets or something. It's like a form of expression, like 'I feel really bad and this is the way I show it.' Like screaming, I don't know, it's hard to explain. Also to punish myself if I do something kind of stupid or something....
    I never take enough to kill me but if it did I wouldn't really care.
  5. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    i feel the exact same way about drinkin' tonite. i promised my friend i wouldn't take the pills i wanted to take, but i want to cause harm so i'm seriously considering picking up the bottle after seven years.
  6. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I had some vodka with orange juice last night, and I nearly cried. It was because of my intent. With every sip I thought of it as killing myself. Just because I've always seen cigarettes and alcohol in that way, not because I actually believe they are going to kill me. I want to be in control of these feelings, and when I drink or smoke, it's like, ok, I am feeling like shit but it's because I made myself that way, as opposed to feeling like shit for no apparent reason.
  7. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    i do this with alcohol
  8. Forsaken Heretic

    Forsaken Heretic Well-Known Member

    For the past few months I've started using a drug that I know will harm me in many ways, and yet, though I know all of this I still take it. I didn't start taking it to intentionally self harm, I started it to numb the pain I feel and it just turns out that it harms me while making me feel better.

    Like you I can't bring myself to care about what it does to me, and I wonder why that is? I've also drank while taking this drug even though I knew that it would make the effects worse.
  9. lrfc003

    lrfc003 New Member

    I smoke drink and do just about any drug i can get my hands on because I hate myself. I want to destroy myself and that is how I do it. It is my form of self harm. Every time I mix and match pills and other drugs, I pray that I won't wake up. One of these times it's gonna work.
  10. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    It is not self harm, it is self destructive, ussually compulsive accting.

    Sometimes, when i was severly depressed, and i didnt care for anything on this world anymore, i just got drunk, high or did cut my whole arm, smoked 2 boxes of ciggaretes.

    It can be extremly dangerous, it can lead into addiction, and that addiction can lead into drug, alcohol and self harm addicition.

  11. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    pain pills, sleeping pills, any pill
    I want it :heart:
  12. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Drugs are a form of self-harm. The only difference between drugs and cutting for example, is that with drugs, you're damaging your internal organs, instead of scarring your skin. I'm somewhat saddened to hear that you're using drugs to harm yourself fromthatshow. :sad:
  13. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I just want as little consciousness and feeling as possible throughout the day.
    I had percocets for getting my wisdom teeth out. That + klonopin really relaxed me. I can see myself as getting into harder drugs. I need to stop this.
  14. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Hi mate, sorry to hear you are feeling so bad. If you want to chat pm me anytime. Drugs. Strange stuff. I think a bit of alcohol in moderation can help you relax and the same with a bit of weed. Too much and you are ever so slowly going to really mess your life up. Tobacco will take maybe 30 years to kill you and even thats not a guarentee. It will simply drain a lot of your money away so just give you more problems. Prescription tablets can give you some really painful illnesses. None of these things are going to take away any pain or loneliness you may be feeling and unless you take massive amounts they are not going to kill you. They will only make your problems worse. Hang on to the good things in your life like your music. If you want to just get "out of it" to forget your problems you know that can be achieved through your music. Please take care.:mellow:
  15. ConsolationPrizeFighter

    ConsolationPrizeFighter Well-Known Member

    i find it hard to take pills without people around cuz of a similar reason. its not so purely self harm... but to just fuck up as much shit as possible at once... the uglier it gets the more real i can feel?
  16. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I do take prescription meds as well. I don't like alcohol or weed strangely enough lol. Alcohol makes me feel worse and weed multiplies my already gut wrenching anxiety by 10.

    Thanks for the offer to pm :heart:
  17. Jooper62

    Jooper62 Well-Known Member

    In my opinion yes..the reason i have done all sorts of drugs to hurt myself I didn't even care..Please stop because it just masks all the pain and problems.And if your taking meds from a doctor will make problems more problems:sad:
  18. Lucie

    Lucie Well-Known Member

    I smoke because I enjoy it and also because I know it's harming me so it is a form of self harm to me.
  19. jam1e

    jam1e Guest

    I've gone back to abusing Nitol sleeping pills as it helps me forget where i am and gives me hallucinations and seems to freeze time in my mind and i go into a sort of nowhere where no-one can get to me!:sad:
  20. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I can identify of wanting to be in a place where no one can get to you. There are other ways to get there though.
    Have you ever tried any sort of guided meditation? Or a therapist that can help you to create a safe space for yourself?
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