Lately I've been going to the store and getting over the counter drugs just to have more pills. I also started smoking on occasion and last night smoked weed. I know there is nothing wrong with smoking, but for me, it feels like a form of self harm. I never used to smoke because I didn't want to do that to myself. Now I feel that life is so messed up, that I do not care what I put my body through. I do not care how sick I get from the things that I put into my body. I do it when I know I'll get sick. Anyone else use drugs in this way?