*phew* I hate this world. I fucking hate it with every aspect of my soul. Not because it's a bad place, but rather because I'm a horrible person. I haven't killed anyone, I haven't beaten anyone, but in regards to what makes life good - charity, friendship, and love, I fail. I have friends. I have lovers, but I'm doomed to never be happy; I'm too aware of the great chasm between me and everybody else. I felt bad the past four days. Today I went to the liquor store. Now as I drink my medicine that makes me feel bad, my good friend melancholy returns and sits next to me. We share a whiskey soda. Drinking isn't a problem. It's the behavior of going out to drink when sad that is negative. I'm really ok, I suppose. I"m not suicidal, and I don't want to hurt myself. But I feel ugly, unlovable and a horrible person. So I've decided to spend the next three days drinking my way through consciousness...I even wrote an email to my teachers telling them that I plan on going on a drinking binge. :tongue:. Nobody's ever excused me of being too subtle Seriously though I've been annoyed with myself. This shit is fucked up. I hate it.