drunk saw + spoke to abusive ex

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by byebyebeautiful, Nov 17, 2008.

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  1. byebyebeautiful

    byebyebeautiful Account Closed

    I'm just glad I was drunk. Only this morning I was saying I want to kill him, for all the pain he has and still is putting me through. I hadn't drank much, 5 mouthfulls of WKD (i am legally allowed to drink, as i am in the UK). But i was also hyper.

    But seeing him and speaking to him, and IDK, i just feel so shivvy. I hate it, why did I do it? I wish i could just die right now.
     
  2. kenny

    kenny Well-Known Member

    its ok hun. I think it might also be the comedown from being hyper, as you put it. It happens to me a lot.

    we all make mistakes. don't beat yourself up over it hun.

    am always here for you
     
  3. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear you're feeling like that but as Kenny says you shouldn't beat yourself up about it. Killing him probably wouldn't have been a good move anyway no matter how you feel. The law can be quite ununderstanding about things like that. Be strong.:hug:
     
  4. byebyebeautiful

    byebyebeautiful Account Closed

    im worthless anyway. :/ so why not?
     
  5. kenny

    kenny Well-Known Member

    You're not worthless, you know that.

    You're very important. and the little monsters want to see you again soon. :smile:
     
  6. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    hun as most survivers to abuse of any kind, it is normal to want the abuser dead but morale dosnt allow it. I dont say to forgive him but to forget him and move on with your life. There are tons of good guys out there waiting for a good soul. You are more than worthy and have the right to happiness and healthy relationship.

    be strong and stay safe
    granny
     
  7. byebyebeautiful

    byebyebeautiful Account Closed

    i dont care. you want to die on me too.
     
  8. byebyebeautiful

    byebyebeautiful Account Closed

    he should be dead. how can i forget him? voices constantly repete what he put me through.

    i havbe a good guy. he is awsome, and deserves one hell of alot better than me.

    i should be dead. and will be.
     
  9. kenny

    kenny Well-Known Member

    Hun, no. You've come this far. you know all you have to do is say the word.
    always here for you
     
  10. byebyebeautiful

    byebyebeautiful Account Closed

    yeah well, i want to die.
     
  11. kenny

    kenny Well-Known Member

    :(

    :hug:

    there's nothing I can say, except that I care. please don't do anything stupid.
     
  12. byebyebeautiful

    byebyebeautiful Account Closed

    its stupid to stay alive, in a life where i am still hurting after 3 years. or there abouts.
     
  13. kenny

    kenny Well-Known Member

    No it's not, hun. you've been doing so well. don't give up now.
     
  14. byebyebeautiful

    byebyebeautiful Account Closed

    i should have died 7/8 months ago now.
     
  15. kenny

    kenny Well-Known Member

    That's not true.

    you deserve some happiness.
     
  16. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    don't give up hun, you have so much more to live for now.
    your not worthless, i dont think it, and i know alex doesnt either so be strong hun, you can get over this.

    as kenny said you deserve happiness and if you give yourself a chance you will have it. and leave the booze alone, you will feel better without it.

    :hug:
     
  17. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    The only thing I have to say about my ex is(BITCH!!!!)
     
  18. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

  19. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    :hug: Please don't do anything rash. Am here if you need to talk, just messsage me :)
     
  20. byebyebeautiful

    byebyebeautiful Account Closed

    thanks andy. i did try, but im a pathetic failure. :( and yeah alcohol makes it worse when im on my own, but i was with a friend at time of drinking.

    :hug:

    thanks cerise, :hug:
     
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