So I gave in and got drunk, well done me, not a good plan with my meds. I'm off my face at the moment but nevermind, cos there's always the little sensible voice in the back of my head keeping control, always responsible, always there for everybody, never lose control never lose control... I wish it would shut the fuck up, let me not give a crap just once. Let me prove that I'm human just once. That would be a very bad thing, no one knows what I'm like without the mask on, how much anger and vengance there would be. Letting it slip would be unforgivable and the reasons for fucking up so badly would be stupid. Never lose control you piece of shit, just bleed out all over the fucking floor, that's all you're worth. You're not even the worst person in the world, you're a nothing. Go cry in the corner because nobody loves you, you pathetic little coward. That's better than losing control, better than the anger. No wants anger from a cheap little fuck, a way to waste time, a last resort, a disabled deformed freak. I'm a walking, talking, bleeding mistake in idiot form.