Dumb Britain!!

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by resistance, Mar 25, 2009.

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  1. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Hello and welcome to Dumb Britain... where we reveal the most idiotic answers ever given to simple questions on quiz shows.

    These laugh-out-loud responses were all aired on TV and radio, captured for ever for the world to see and hear.

    They were compiled for satirical magazine Private Eye's "Dumb Britain" - which gathers the most ridiculous show answers every week.

    And this week office workers sent them to friends on an email circular that has got Britain chuckling.

    Alex Trelinski (Late Show, BBC Midlands): What is the capital of Italy?

    Contestant: France. Alex: France is another country.

    Try again. Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.

    Alex: Wrong, sorry.

    Let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?

    Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.

    Alex: Just guess a country.

    Contestant: Paris.

    Answers: Rome and Greece

    Anne Robinson (The Weakest Link, BBC2): Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in: Prison or the Conservative Party?

    Contestant: The Conservative Party.

    Answer: Prison

    Jeremy Paxman (University Challenge, BBC2): What is another name for "cherrypickers" and "cheesemongers"?

    Contestant: Homosexuals.

    Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.

    Phil Wood (BBC Radio Manchester): What's 11 squared?

    Contestant: I don't know.

    Phil Wood: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.

    Contestant: Is it five?

    Answer: 121

    Richard Madeley (Richard and Judy): On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?

    Contestant: Er...

    Richard: He makes bread.

    Contestant: Er...

    Richard: He makes cakes.

    Contestant: Kipling Street?

    Answer: Baker Street

    Question (BRMB Radio): What religion was Guy Fawkes?

    Contestant: Jewish.

    Host: That's close enough.

    Answer: Roman Catholic

    Steve Le Fevre (The Biggest Game in Town, ITV): What was signed to bring World War I to an end in 1918?

    Contestant: Magna Carta?

    Answer: Treaty of Versailles

    Phil Wood (BBC GMR): What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?

    Contestant: Er...

    Phil: It's got two sylla-bles... Kor...

    Contestant: Blimey?

    Phil:Ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run...

    Contestant: Silence

    Phil:Okay, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...

    Contestant: Walked?

    Answers: Koran&ran

    Melanie Sykes (The Vault): What name is given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?

    Contestant: Nostalgia.

    Answer: Narcolepsy

    Steve Wright (Radio 2): Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungles-winging character clad in a loin cloth did he play?

    Contestant: Jesus.

    Answer: Tarzan

    Chris Searle (BBC Radio Bristol): In which European country is Mount Etna?

    Contestant: Japan.

    Chris: I did say European country... I can let you try again.

    Contestant: Er... Mexico?

    Answer: Italy

    Paul Wappat (BBC Radio Newcastle): How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?

    Contestant: (long pause) 14 days.

    Answer: Six days

    Daryl Denham (Virgin Radio): In which country would you spend shekels?

    Contestant: Holland?

    Daryl: Try the next letter of the alphabet.

    Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?

    Daryl: It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?

    Contestant: No.

    Answer: Israel

    JAMIE THEAKSTON: Where is Cambridge University?

    CONTESTANT: Geography isn't my strong point

    JAMIE THEAKSTON: There's a clue in the title

    CONTESTANT: Leicester?

    LINCS FM DJ: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?

    CONTESTANT Barcelona

    LINCS FM DJ: I was really after the name of a country

    CONTESTANT; I'm sorry, I don't know the name of any countries in Spain

    GWR FM DJ: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?

    CONTESTANT I don't know, I wasn't watching it then

    ROCK FM PRESENTER: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci

    CONTESTANT Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

    BEACON RADIO DJ: What is the nationality of the Pope?

    CONTESTANT I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

    BAMBER GASCOIGNE What was Gandhi's first name?

    CONTESTANT Goosey?

    JAMES O'BRIEN, LBC: How many kings of England have been called Henry?

    CONTESTANT Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth.. er, er, three?

    LOTTERY HOST: What is the world's largest continent?

    CONTESTANT The Pacific?

    These really raised a smile to my face! :laugh:
  2. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member


    There's an Australian show that does the same with Americans. :laugh:
  3. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    :laugh: Idiots..... I love them.
  4. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member


  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Goosey Ghandi OMG :rofl:
  6. Spikey

    Spikey Senior Member

  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    That's hilarious!!:laugh:
  8. Crue-K

    Crue-K Well-Known Member

    ROCK FM PRESENTER: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci

    CONTESTANT Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

    OMG, I have been laughing for about 10 mins
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