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Dumb Quotes

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by Marshmallow, Apr 13, 2007.

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  1. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Nicked this off another forum, ah well lol

    Post some funny quotes :tongue:

    • "My parents have been there for me - ever since I was about seven." - David Beckham

    • "I know it's called Tuna, but isn't it Chicken?" - Jessica Simpson

    • ''Jessica, you want some buffalo wings?" "Sorry I don't eat buffalo." - Jessica Simpson

    • "It is white." - George W. Bush, when asked what the White house was like

    Ya guys know any funny ones? :tongue:
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

  3. Edicius si Evol

    Edicius si Evol Well-Known Member

    "The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country."
    - George W. Bush

    "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
    - George W. Bush

    "One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."
    - Governor George W. Bush

    "I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."
    - Governor George W. Bush

    "The future will be better tomorrow."
    - Governor George W. Bush

    "We're going to have the best educated American people in the world."
    - Governor George W. Bush

    "I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
    - Governor George W. Bush

    "We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."
    - Governor George W. Bush

    "Public speaking is very easy."
    - Governor George W. Bush

    "A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
    - Governor George W. Bush

    "We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
    - Governor George W. Bush

    "For NASA, space is still a high priority."
    - Governor George W. Bush

    "Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
    - Governor George W. Bush

    "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
    - Governor George W. Bush
  4. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    :laugh: My Dad's friend ordered a pizza thinking that buffalo mozzarella was two seperate things on the list of ingediants. He was genuinely confused when the pizza came with no meat especially as he'd been 'really excited to taste buffalo'. He is ridiculed to this day :rofl:

    I especially love the George Bush ones, they never get old :biggrin:.

    I wish to add the following (all courtesy of George W B)...

    - "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.''

    - "We both use Colgate toothpaste." —after a reporter asked what he had in common with British Prime Minister Tony Blair

    - "I'm the commander — see, I don't need to explain — I do not need to explain why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being president."

    - "Oh, no, we're not going to have any casualties." —discussing the Iraq war with Christian Coalition founder Pat Robertson

    - "Do you have blacks, too?" —to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso

    - "For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable. And we're going to do something about it."

    - "I'm the master of low expectations."

    - "I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things."

    - "I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe — I believe what I believe is right."

    - "People say, how can I help on this war against terror? How can I fight evil? You can do so by mentoring a child; by going into a shut-in's house and say I love you."

    - "I wish you'd have given me this written question ahead of time so I could plan for it…I'm sure something will pop into my head here in the midst of this press conference, with all the pressure of trying to come up with answer, but it hadn't yet….I don't want to sound like I have made no mistakes. I'm confident I have. I just haven't — you just put me under the spot here, and maybe I'm not as quick on my feet as I should be in coming up with one." —after being asked to name the biggest mistake he had made

    - "See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don't attack each other. Free nations don't develop weapons of mass destruction."

    - "The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. It is our number one priority and we will not rest until we find him." Sept. 13, 2001

    - "I don't know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don't care. It's not that important. It's not our priority." March 13, 2002

    - "Can we win? I don't think you can win it." —after being asked whether the war on terror was winnable

    - "I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace."

    - "I trust God speaks through me. Without that, I couldn't do my job."

    - "If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator."

    - "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."

    - "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."

    - "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

    - "My answer is bring them on." —on Iraqi insurgents attacking U.S. forces.

    - "Make no mistake about it, I understand how tough it is, sir. I talk to families who die."

    - "You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror."

    - "I was not pleased that Hamas has refused to announce its desire to destroy Israel."

  5. on my own

    on my own Well-Known Member

    George Bush most def is on my 'hero' list for good quotes... I heard from a friend the other day that he said this:

    I think I should tell you guys that rape is mentioned in the following qoute

    "Texas Weather is like Rape. You cant do anything about it, might as well sit back and enjoy it" - President George W Bush
  6. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    OMG and I thought Blair was bad:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  7. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    OMG!! :eek:hmy: I can't believe

    :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
  8. worlds edge

    worlds edge Well-Known Member

    Love this list of headlines I've had on my HD for years
    Can't exactly vouch for their veracity, but I think at least some are true.


    Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

    Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

    Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

    Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

    Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

    Farmer Bill Dies in House

    Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

    Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

    Stud Tires Out

    Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

    Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

    Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again

    British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

    Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms

    Eye Drops off Shelf

    Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

    Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

    Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

    Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66

    Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

    Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

    Miners Refuse to Work after Death

    Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

    Stolen Painting Found by Tree

    Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

    Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter

    Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

    Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One

    Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in `84

    War Dims Hope for Peace

    If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

    Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

    Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

    Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

    Deer Kill 17,000

    Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

    Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge

    New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

    Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

    Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

    Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

    Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire

    British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply

    Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

    Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees

    Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

    New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

    Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

    Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing

    Air Head Fired

    Steals Clock, Faces Time

    Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff

    Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni

    Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board

    Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

    Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction

    Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training

    Include your Children when Baking Cookies
  9. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    :rofl: :hysterica
  10. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    I laughed meself silly:laugh:
  11. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    loooooooooooooooool thats the funniest thing i've seen lol

    she did lol, i thought she was gonna stop breathing!!:eek:hmy: :eek:hmy:
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 13, 2007
  12. Nuri

    Nuri Well-Known Member

    "I'm proud of George. He's learned a lot about ranching since that first year when he tried to milk the horse. What's worse, it was a male horse." - First Lady Laura Bush, at the White House Correspondents dinner.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 13, 2007
  13. We have armadillos in our trousers. It's really quite frightening.
  14. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

  15. Nuri

    Nuri Well-Known Member

    Spinal Tap? Hehe.

    Probably my favourite scene from Spinal Tap, Nigel Tufnel is showing Marty DiBergi his Amplifiers.

    Nigel Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...
    Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?
    Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.
    Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?
    Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?
    Marty DiBergi: I don't know.
    Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
    Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.
    Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.
    Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?
    Nigel Tufnel: [pause] These go to eleven.

    I love that film... :unsure:
  16. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    i don't know any:sad: but the ones on this thread are hilarious:laugh:
  17. Light_In_The_Dark

    Light_In_The_Dark Well-Known Member

    "It's like kissing Hitler." Tony Curtis talking about Marilyn Monroe

    "In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman." Margaret Thatcher

    "I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house." Zsa Zsa Gabor

    "The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier" Bill Gates.
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