Yesterday was, quite possibly, THE worst day of my life. Before i can tell you why, though, you need the back story. My boyfriend, Dave, and I have been together for 13 months now last week. And although we had our problems, we weren't the worlds best couple, we always talked about the problems as they arose and tried to tackle them together. In short, things seemed to be going well with us. We'd go to the cinema every week, and he'd spent the weekend at my house. Last weekend was no different. He came over Saturday, he was early for once, and left sunday. And we had a lovely weekend. We laughed, we kissed, everything was completely normal. Monday rolls around and we both have a busy day at uni. He doesn't text in the morning like he says he would but i assume thats because he is in a rush and so i text him. I get a perfectly normal reply; "Good morning. I'm good thanks and slept well thanks, you? Are you on time today? I have 2 lectures, a workhop and a placement talk." I reply at around 4pm, but i don't hear back from him and so i text again asking if he was ever planning on replying, in a joking manner. He replied and i sent a text asking if he was planning on going to this placement thing. Hours pass and he doesn't reply. So when i get home i ring him, but he puts my call through to voicemail. I just assume he's with his mum and ask him to ring me when he gets the chance. 10 minutes after i get put through to his voicemail he sends me a text (Yes, a text, after 13 months that's the best he can manage) saying he doesn't think we're working out and he thinks i can do better than him and should move on. I feel my whole world falling in on itself. I tried calling him but he won't answer. Coward. I really think after 13 months the least he could do is talk to me on the phone. If i were to have been the one to dump him, i would have done it in person. It's the decent thing to do. But i did manage to convince him to come on MSN since i felt he hadn't explained why enough. His reason? "My heart isn't in it anymore." What the hell? What does that even mean. After 13 months, and all we've been through, thats his excuse. So he dumped me, and i don't know why. Now i can't eat, sleep, and all i can think is why. Was it something i did? I keep racking my brains thinking about anything i said over the last few weeks that made him suddenly decide i wasn't the one for him. My mum reckons it was this placement talk he went to. A couple of weeks ago he was telling me about it and how it would get him a lot of money. I did say to him at the time that i wasn't sure how we would work as a long distance couple and that he should bear that in mind, but i didn't say we couldn't work. But it seems odd that he was fine all weekend, he was fine most of monday, but then he had this placement talk and decides we should split up. My mother reckons that at the talk they told him all this positive, brilliant stuff about going on a placement, and he decided he wanted to go and we would have to split up. But i don't think he'll end up going. He's a mummy's boy, he can't iron his own clothes, pair his own socks, wash his own clothes. In general, he can't look after himself. There's no way he could spend a year living alone in a foreign country with no friends, and no family. My mum reckons this isn't the last of it. She reckons he'll come back because it seems like this a spur of the moment decision and he'll come to regret it. But, to be honest, if he does come back he's gotta give me a damn good reason for doing this to me, and i've got to be certain he won't do it again. Cos i won't go through this again. And even then, i'm not sure i'd go back to him. I'm just so devastated right now, i feel like someone has reached into my chest and pulled out my heart. There's just a huge empty hole there now. The pain is unbearable. I woke up this morning hoping it was all a nightmare and i'd find him sleeping on my sofa like usual. But no, it was real. And this pain is real. I can't eat, can't sleep, can't do anything. It hurts too much. He was The One, i was madly and irrevocably in love with him. I couldn't picture life without him. I can't picture life without him. I don't know where to go from now.