dunno what to do

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by among the stars, Aug 16, 2015.

  1. among the stars

    among the stars Well-Known Member

    I never thought there was such a thing as caring too much.. I would have cared for the rest of my life (still will) without hesitation but now ive forced myself to take a step back even though I hate how it is making me feel inside... I will never stop caring for people.. not completely.. but having to justify how much i care about someone, and explain over and over that im there for that person no matter what.. that they arent going to lose me... I keep taking it.. listening to them vent (which is normally fine) and not get this person to see what they already know but choose to ignore or forget. To have fight after fight without much reason.. to *make up* and then a week or two later fight/argue again over the same things as the last fight. I try so hard to make everyone happy... I know its not possible for everyone but i still try... no matter how much i get hurt... and yet.. theres only so much a person can take... im so conflicted inside my mind.. its just like a war.. both sides fighting back and forth on what is right and what is healthy for my own well being (something I dont usually care about). waring back and forth that I need to be there for this friend no matter what and yet I am so sick at this point that I cant be... im no good to her or anyone else. I am constantly on edge, constant shaking and meds no longer work to calm me down. days on end of migrains and pain... and yet i set it all aside as best as i can for this person. I dunno what to do... for me to not talk to her (even though she barely speaks to me as it was) would be like ripping my heart out... but to fight all the time or not say the right things to make her life bearable... someone help me... god someone please help me..
  2. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    You need to consider your own health because it seems like you are in a place where you could really use some help and support. I don't know what to say about the friend, but maybe you both need a bit of space in between each other, otherwise you will both be taking on each others burdens and pain, which is not a bad thing at all, its really self-less, but then on top of everything you are both going through, you're not going to be able to keep it up all the time. You are good, you're a very kind and compassionate person who cares about others a great deal. But maybe this time, you need to give the both of you some time and space if you are constantly arguing or fighting. That won't help either of you while you are going through so much. Sorry if what I said is not helpful, but I at least hope that you are feeling somewhat better today. Sorry you are going through so much :hug: