Dunno what to think or say. If anything.

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by meaningless-vessel, Jan 1, 2014.

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  1. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    Sometimes it feels like even when I try to be positive and more confident - there's someone who doesn't want to allow me to be because it doesn't fit with them. And me being me, usually accommodates everyone else and forgets about myself. On top of that - I get told I'm lazy because I don't do enough of what's asked of me, even if it is things that should realistically be minimal/bare basics.

    I'm just tired of bothering to be myself. Because right now, do I really know who I am, and/or who I want to be?

    Going into a new year, looking at new challenges to get me through more days of my life, but I'm not sure how i'm gonna withstand the constant onslaught I get. Verbal abuse happens at work so often, it's like there's almost no point me being there.

    Do I just want to give up? Evidently there's so much weighing me down, but what it is - I haven't discovered of yet as I'm still feeling a high weight of expectation that I'm just unable to fill.

    Urgh. Advice would be considered - but I'm not sure I'd be responsive to it at the moment.
  2. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    The only person you need to please is yourself, fuck everybody else. If you look at what you've had to deal with in the past year or two you have come a long way although you may not see it at the moment. You've sought help and got yourself a therapist, a massive step. You got diagnosed with a rare blood disorder, you have strived to keep yourself informed and despite how shitty it makes you feel sometimes you generally don't let it beat you. And following on from that point, in the middle of it you have got yourself a job and work damn hard. It's a lot to deal with and you have tried to better yourself and I think slowly you are succeeding. I think your next step could possibly be thinking of moving out of your mum's because it seems that is what is bringing you down the most and seems to be what is "toxic" right now.
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Don't worry about the people who seek to bring you down, because if they do, then they've succeeded in what they wanted to do. You should care about yourself more than anyone. I am also the type of person to put others before myself, and it's usually done nothing but cause me pain. If others are rude to you or treat you like crap, then pay them no mind, because they don't matter.
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