dunno

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Inversion, Mar 12, 2009.

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  1. Inversion

    Inversion Member

    I didn't know what to put for my title...
    I'm Liam, I'm 16 and live in Scotland.

    I split up with my girlfriend about a month ago, she was everything to me and when we split up I just fucking lost it... I went crazy - my parents started arguing, I failed 5 out of 5 of my exams, I haven't been able to sleep much. But most of all, every single fucking day I see her at school and it hurts because I love her. I originally came to this website because I had gotten over these feelings and had some hope for life, but now I just can't do it... I felt ready to help others through what I'd experienced, how can I now? Nothing in my life seems to be glowing, everything gets dimmer. I mean, I know that there are people with far worse problems in their life and being rejected by a girl they love, but as selfish as it is, I don't care right now.

    I don't exactly want to die, but I do :unsure:
    I want to have a good life, but I just feel so tired, fed up and pissed off at life that I just don't want it ya know? I'm usually not a coward but I want to die quickly, <Mod Edit - methods> I don't want to end up as a vegetable.

    So I find myself climbing a hill that doesn't have a peak. I want to die, right now, but I can't. So what can I fucking do? It's selfish towards my family etc, but none of them have tried to help me, so why should I care for them now? I don't understand it!

    I just wish I would go to sleep and not wake up to this, I mean... how can one damn girl ruin my life so much that I don't want it anymore?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 12, 2009
  2. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hey....losing someone you care about, does make you feel horrible. it is hard too, if you have to see that person constantly. it keeps the wound open and doesn't allow it to heal - at least not quickly enough.

    and...i don't think you want to actually die, to cease to exist. to never have the chance for love and happiness. but i do believe you want relief from the pain.

    i hope you will get support here - pm me or anyone else - if you want to talk. and/or keep posting how you feel. we will try to help you as you go through this heartbreak.

    ...and addressing your last point about letting a girl ruin your life...many times we get en-meshed with our lover, so much so that we lose our own identity. then, if the relationship crumbles, there is no ''life'' left. i think we can have relationships, and keep our own '''self''' whole. there is lots of life and hope left for you.
    and...i will close by saying that at this time, it is too painful to think of someone else. i understand that. and i ask you to lean on us and also, i am very sorry for your pain. :console:
     
  3. Inversion

    Inversion Member

    that's part of the problem, i know that im better than this and that i can still be happy in life, i just dont know how to get myself back :S
     
  4. pither

    pither Well-Known Member

    Hi Liam,
    I don't know what it's like to be rejected by the person you love.
    But I do know what it's like to not know if you want to die or not.

    You want to end the pain as quickly and as painlessly as possible, but you don't know if your able to make that serious step. I was just there two days ago. I wanted to go to sleep and not wake up. I wanted a peaceful and easy end. I didn't want to mess it up either. But in all our pain we don't realize that by dieing, we aren't going to feel any relief because we will no longer be able to.

    It must be awful to have to see the person who crushed you everyday. But you have to be the better person and be strong for nobody but yourself. Think of all the relationships in your future. Maybe this one ending will be a step to an even better one. Who knows, all you know is that you have to move on and hold your head up. Relationships can be messy and leave you in pieces, but you can only do your best. Hang in there- em
     
  5. christian_1990

    christian_1990 Well-Known Member

    my advice: from now on date girls for fun and sex, do not look for love/serious relathionship , it may sound offensive for some people but its just my advice. play a sport go out with friends play video games ull be better soon:biggrin:
     
  6. danz

    danz Well-Known Member

    ........x2.........
     
  7. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    And if you figure out how to date girls just for fun and sex, let me know. :biggrin:

    Seriously though...hang in there!
     
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