[FONT=Roman, serif]I have been fantasizing my death lately. I was just day-dreaming about going to prison and having to decide whether to stay in for my life or going on death row. :S why I thought about it I dont know. But ive been thinking about things like that more and more lately. Im hearing people fighting, yelling, screaming. Its like they are right outside my door....i look out the door and there's no one there. But I can hear them. Its starting to freak me out. I told my doctor im hearing stuff and put me back on risperdal, they raised my mg per day. It doesn't seem to be helping much. I thought it would. But its not. Im getting more and more paranoid everyday. I hate this. I used to be ok. I had a job, went out, and did things a few years ago. Now I cant even go out in my backyard without freaking out. Between the noises, paranoia, anxiety and depression? What else is there? Lol I just want this roller-coaster. I hate what I've become and what I do to myself. I just dont know what to do anymore. Should I stay or should I go? Right now im not too sure. [/FONT]