Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by Nuri, Jan 2, 2007.

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  1. Nuri

    Nuri Well-Known Member

    Dusk by Callum (Nuri)

    I look to the dusk sky and watch the clouds go by
    My love stands there like the Angel that she is
    Her voice so tender that I am not aware of her presence
    She wonders why my attention is not hers, for she is so alluring
    Tears flow from her eyes as screams erupt from her mouth
    I cannot ignore her sorrow for I want her to be here tomorrow
    My attention swiftly directed at her suffering, I glance at her eyes…
    Her eyes were like knives; they cut me… deeper than the sea…
    I bled like a wounded soldier on a battlefield with no honour
    My feet transported me towards her with uncertainty
    Pure blood had fallen onto tainted ground but made no sound
    I wrapped my arms around her, as if I was a blanket
    Yet she still cried… She whispered to me so evocatively…
    “It’s time to take a ride”, I got lost inside her mind…
    I grew weaker... sinking deeper into the maze inside her...
    I fell like a beggar, I broke like my heart, I cried like an infant but then…
    I had lost the battle for surivial...

    I died… And she began…

    The End

    Here's a 'poem' that I just made, I hope you like it... it kind of suits the mood i'm in.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 2, 2007
  2. riz

    riz Senior Member

    I really liked it. You were able to write it in a way that took me right where you are. I could feel everyword as if I wrote them.

    Thank you for being able to write your feelings in such a beautiful way. I appreciated every word.
  3. Allo..

    Allo.. Well-Known Member

    that was.. amazing.. beautiful... thank you..
  4. BrokenPieces

    BrokenPieces Well-Known Member


    i can so relate to this one...
  5. shellz

    shellz Guest

    Wow! That was really good..Keep it up!
  6. 44Bedtime_Bear

    44Bedtime_Bear Active Member

    Sorry I am speachless I reread your poem 3 times and still am at a loss for words the poem has touched me in a way I can't explain but to say you have a gift
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