Dying alone.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by FINISHED, Mar 15, 2008.

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    FINISHED Member

    That's all i can think of it's that i'm going to die alone.It's an awful feeling.To feel alone.I guess it had to end like this.I've stopped seeing everybody,friends,doctors,etc,i haven't had two hours of descent sleep for more than a week and i've been hanging around in my pyjamas for the last three days.
    So i've got the moment,the method and no fu***ng idea of how else to get out of this mess.:sad:
  2. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    take a pause, think about what you are planning.

    do you have family

    think of the repercussions

    stay safe
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Get out of your pajamas, shower, get dressed, and make yourself get out of the house. Allowing yourself to sit there and ruminate about things only leads to mre depressive thoughts. Be active in trying to recover. if this means getting yourself reestablishe with your friends and doctors, then take those necessary steps. you do not have to fight this alone. That is a choice you have made at this point. Make a different choice. i don't know what brought you to the stage you have found yourself in. i am sorry for whatever has happened to make you feel this way. i want to encourage you to make the changes you need Don't give up. Your life is too precious to lose. :hug:

    FINISHED Member

    I have thought very carefully about it ,i've had nothing else to do.
    Yeah familly,kinda but not really worth talking about.
    The only way for me to be safe is to be dead.

    FINISHED Member

    I can't,i feel it's beyond my power.I can't even step out of my flat.And no my life isn'tactually very precious at all.
  6. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    you are very strong to have made it this far. don't give up now.

    first steps are easy, and you don't have to leave the house, or even get out of those PJ's:
    get on the phone to the suicide helpline. then, get on the phone to your doctor.

    in the middle of depression you can't see your worth, but we can see it. don't give up,

  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You are so right catherine. We can see the value in you even if you can't. Your judgment is clouded by the depression. A crisis line can be a good first step if you are willing to take it.

    FINISHED Member

    Already tried the suicide helpline yesterday.I think i'm giving up.It's just not worth the hassle.I'd be stupid to keep living.

    FINISHED Member

    I feel so lonely,like if i was alone in the world you know.I wish so hard someone was here to take me in their arms and tell me i can make it.But that's not going to happen,coz i'm alone.It just hurts soooooo much.
  10. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    i am sorry you have no one around you that can do that for you right now. I can offer you that assurance from here, but I know it is not the same. Sometimes we crave the touch of another human being. The touch of comfort. Can you call an old friend and explain things to them? They should understand. they may be glad to hear from you. It is worth the try if nothing else.
  11. Tilen

    Tilen New Member

    Greetings who ever You are. My name is Tilen and im from slovenia.
    There is few things i want to talk then about with You.

    - First of all LIFE it self is a gift. Cannot be replaced - buyed - bidded or anything else. So You need to respect it.

    - Second thing ; There is allways solution for any problem. Everything what You need is a Iron will and strong faith in Your self.

    Many many people will say; "you are crazy" - "whats wrong with you" ? And so on.

    Dont care about this words , You know who You are and what You want to
    be.If You dont know what You want to be , sooner or later You will find out:).

    And You are never alone. I can share my expirience with You , ofcourse if You want to. You will meet me on MSN : hipi@bejbika.net or on email source@mail386.com

    Dont be afraid. Ask anything what You want , what You care , im here for this to help.

    For anyone of You.

    Good bye :)
  12. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I know that feeling so well. Alone. And how wonderful a hug would feel. But hun, you're not alone as long as you keep posting here and let others in to try and help. Soon you will realize you do have a family that cares, right here. Please hold on.
  13. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i can only send you a virtual "you will make it" hug 'cos it's all i have.... but consider yourself hugged! you won't always feel as despairing and as lonely as you do right now, i promise. i've also been in that dark, horrible pit you are currently in, totally exhausted and feeling totally alone. many things came together to get me through the long nights - the suicide helpline, talking to my doctor about how i felt, the chat room here on SF, emailing friends, remembering my friend J who took his life and how shocked i was that he thought he was so alone in the end (he'd forgotten how much we loved him, depression stole that from him)...

    here's hoping you find some small comfort in our words and that tomorrow you will reach out for some help,

  14. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Please hang in there Finished. Your life isn't finished yet. You still have a lot more living to do. :hug:

    FINISHED Member

    Thanx so much for answering,it does help a little to see people are reading and understanding what i'm going through.I've just spent my fourth day in my pyjamas.I've never been like this,i wasmore the type to have three showers a day,and now,well now i just don't care.I'm rejecting everybody i can't help it,it's like i'm not really in control.
    My flat looks like there's been a battle in it.My psychiatrist came to see me yesterday because i hadn't been to the appointments she'd given to me for quite a while.She said i absolutely needed to get some sleep.I think she would of called an ambulance straight away when she saw what state i was in but i told her about what happened when i last when to hospital.She was horrified and assured me she wouldn't send me there again.
    I feel so pathetic.I've just erased a certain amount of phone numbers on my phone.Told the people that own my flat that i was going to resiliate the contract and given the majority of my savings to my neighbour.I know i'm messing things up but i just can't help it,i feel as if i just don't care anymore.
  16. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    All I can really say is that I know the feeling and it's a horrible feeling. I think it is your mind's way of telling you that you don't really want to do this. That's how I've always interpreted it, anyway.

    But I'm not gonna preach. Just ask you not to do it.

    FINISHED Member

    but i don't feel as if i'm even up to helping myself anymore and i also know that if you can't help yourself well nobody can.I just can't see any other way out to be honest.I feel as if nobody cares enough.I feel handicaped and as if i needed someone to come,come even if i tell them not to,and help me sort myself out.I can't help but tell everyone that i don't really want to see them,and i'm incapable of picking up the phone to cry for help.I need someone to come and litterally "pick me up".But i also know that's not going to happen.
  18. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    Well, if they don't know you're in distress, how can they come and help you? If you tell people to go away, most of the time, they will. Not because they don't care about you. But because they think that's what you want them to do. They're just respecting your wishes. They don't know what you want and they can't know unless you tell them. Most people just aren't that perceptive.
  19. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    You should call one of your friends and ask them to help you Finished instead of telling them to go away and leave you alone. You clearly need some help and a hug. :hug:
  20. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    finished, i know what you mean about not even recognizing yourself ... depression will do that to you. add on top of that a lack of sleep and you are really in a difficult spot.

    can i ask why you are not sleeping? i was the same way right before i unravelled completely and i didn't sleep for 5 days. it made my depression a hundred times worse.

    will your psych be checking in with you again at home? i have a community psych nurse who comes to see me at home, perhaps there is something similar where you live? she came once a week at first, with daily phone calls and now we have tapered off to every two weeks. in ireland they really only hospitalize you as a last resort, so there are plenty of in community supports.

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