My grandmother was just admitted to the hospital yesterday because she's been having stomach problems. I mean, she's been having a lot of problems lately, also with her leg. She's been on bedrest and I've basically been the one taking care of her. Anyway, today I went to visit her with my grandfather and the whole time I was just trying not to cry. The men in my family aren't very outwardly emotional for one thing, but also I didn't want to upset my grandmother. She was just so out of it and couldn't even keep her eyes open despite not being on any painkillers anymore. It really upset me and I'm almost certain these are her last few days. I'm really thankful that she got to see me graduate college and everything and I'm sure she knows that our family will be okay, but she's always been the one to take care of everyone and to see her so feeble in the hospital was heartbreaking. When I went to hug her goodbye I finally just lost it and burst into tears. Anyway, I just feel empty now after that. I can't stop thinking about her in the hospital and I wish I was there with her, even if she's sleeping the whole time, but at the same time I feel like I'd just start weeping the entire time. On the ride home, I almost got into two accidents and I couldn't bring myself to care. If this is how bad it is when she's not even gone yet, I can't imagine how much I'll miss her or if I'll even be able to handle it when she's gone. Anyway, I don't even know why I'm writing all this. I don't really have anyone else to talk to, my friends (like my family) aren't very emotional people and I don't want to burden anyone with my problems, I guess I just needed to tell someone how hard it is for me to cope with this and how scared I am for my own well-being. Has anyone else experienced anything like this that they'd be willing to talk to me about?