dying seems so easy

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by ~PinkElephants~, Oct 12, 2007.

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  1. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    I dont want to live anymore. No living, no breathing, just dying. I'm tired of fighting. I know I've told so many people to keep fighting but I just don't have the energy anymore. I can only smile so much longer. I find myself breaking into tears more often and lasting longer. I want so much to just disappear. I want to taste victory, waste the blood. I'ma waste of flesh and bones. I don't care about myself, I abuse my body...I just don't care. I want the world to swallow me whole.

    I took dylan to the zoo today just to get away from everything. Only to hop back into the car afterwards and have it all cave back in on me. People say live for Dylan, live through your art, live through your poetry...what about wanting to live for ME. What happens when the wanting to live for me doesn't exist..what happens if it hasn't existed in a long time? I have felt so dead for so long it's like, why bother???

    When and if(yes if) i do go..i won't tell a soul. I won't come on here..i won't post about it..I'll just disappear..and no one will have to wish I'd just run out of steam..and no one will whisper under their breath that they want me to shut up. You can all move on and rest easy.

    :sad:
     
  2. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    :sad: Kellz...:hug::hug:
     
  3. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

    kellz :hug:
     
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    What to say :sad: other than I'm here whenever you need me :hug:
     
  5. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Nothing needs to be said anymore. Not a word. I'm just over everything. Over it all. Over the forced concern from people who do not know anything about me. This is not referring to the people i consider close to me here @ sf. I'm tired of living this life. I know it would be easy to change it all...but i just feel drained.

    maybe if i ccry about it enough everything will be over.
     
  6. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    I know I don't know you that well, but we have spoken enough for me to know that ur a good person and you dont deserve this! This world is very selfish and ungrateful, but if we r strong enough we can overcome that, i hope you find the strength kells, i really do!

    Take care and i'm here to listen anytime even if it is just rambling, we all do it!

    :smile:
     
  7. twilightki

    twilightki Well-Known Member

    If you can't find a reason to live for yourself, create one. Theres always something.

    When you get up in the morning you eat, you get tired, go to sleep. Each morning that energy is replenished. Your body has all it needs to keep going. But your mind needs something. Your spirit. If you can't it, make that your reason to keep going. Finding something. Whatever you do, never give in.
     
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