Dying Wish

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by White Dove, Jul 10, 2007.

  1. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    Why did you hurt me?

    Do you not have any feelings for me at all? Did you not love me? You said that you loved me .. But it was a lie wasnt it? You never loved me..

    How can you just go on like that? How can you just forget about me or my feelings? Do you think that i dont cry? Well i do , every single night i cry .. I cry and i hurt because you both left me...

    You knew what you two meant to me... You knew i cared and loved you both yet you both did not care for me or my life at all... Now that i have a true cancer that will take my life in a few short months are you ever going to come around? Or are you going to stay away from me then when i pass on come to my funeral?

    Why couldnt you come around before then? Why couldnt you at least just call? is that such a big deal to ask for a phone call that would take less then 5 minutes? I assume you have read these words from what i have been told.. I assume you know how i feel and how much you hurt me..

    i hurt you... yes . i let my niece hurt you.. yes and i admit the wrong i did and the wrong i allowed my niece to do.. if i had known earlier what she was doing i could have stopped it but i didnt know soon enough.. is that why you hold such a big grude against me?

    I am dying and theres nothing i can do about it.. there is nothing i can say or stop it from happening... It is not a lie ... It is not a half truth.. this is real . the real deal.. the real fate that i have to take rather i want to or not... I have no choice in it but to take it...

    You know why im still here? Why i didnt kill myself the other night? I think it has to do with God.. he is allowing me time to make up with the wrongs i did and i hope he can allow me to at least make up with you and Elaine... IM sorry , i truly am sorry that i hurt you both.. I only want and need your forgiveness before i go... This is my dying wish that i am speaking to you both.. I have little time left and its not funny .. in fact it hurts..

    You are a minister.. cant you at least grant me my last wish and let me say good bye to you both.. give you both a hug and let you both know that deep down i am honestly sorry.. Is that way too much to ask for , from a man of God and his wife?

    I wont interfer in your life anymore if that is what you want... heck i wont even be here to anyhow... can you at least put my heart at ease? is that too much to ask for? Is it too much of a big deal to you?

    This is my last plea to you... I am begging you both.. i will even get down on my knees if that is what you require before you can accept it.. I love you both so much and i will leave you alone... I just ask this one thing.. Can you both find it in your hearts to at least grant me this.. one last hug... you really meant a lot to me and i screwed it all up and i let my niece screw it up.. maybe someday and i pray that happens that she will admit what she did and to those things she let me take the blame for..

    This is my dying wish to you David and to your wife Elaine.. it is not a joke , not a lie , and there is no fun in it at all. I have cancer and i am dying .. I need this from you both to ease my heart.. it might not mean anything to you both but it does to me...

    All i can do is ask and pray to God that you being a minister can do this as a last request from me - for i have little time left and theres no way i can get out of that... Will you do this as a last request to me? Will you and your wife visit me and let me at least give you both a hug and put my heart at ease? Is that too much to ask from you both?

    This is real , my feelings is real.. my heart is real.. my cancer is real. my early death will be real.. nothing i can say or do can change the fact that i will die soon. I would rather see you while i can get around then for you to see me on my death bed..

    so please can you grant me my last wish? it will be the last thing i ask of you.. God knows it and i pray that God lets you know that i have spoken truth and that he lets you know my time is almost up.. this is real no joke , no lie , no bull.. This is my dying wish..

    God let them know i speak the truth.. Let them know i need this to put my heart at ease.. i dont want to die knowing they hate me .. please.. i am begging you and them.. help them to grant me my dying wish before i come home to you. This i ask it in your son jesus name. and if it be according to your will A-MEN

    David and Elaine - if you both read this .. please know i am deeply sorry and that i have been paid back for the wrong done and i am suffering a horriable death of a cancer i can not stop because of a hurt i caused.. please i begging you.. can you do this? before i die at least just visit with me .. even for only 5 minutes , so i can hug you good bye.. you both meant a lot to me rather you knew that or not...