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Dying

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sweetsweet

Well-Known Member
#1
It seems to me that dying is actually harder than some expect. Or maybe it is easy for other people except me. I'm sure if I had access to a gun or knew how to get one this bs life would be over. Personally I just want to go peacefully though. And not be completely aware that I am dying. Of course, like everything else in my life that chance was f*cked up by none other than me. I couldn't even get my kidneys to stay down. So now I feel here I can tell what I truly feel inside. I am close to being a god. I am nearly invincible. What would kill other people will barely leave a mark on me. I don't like to admit it because I try to fit into the "sane" category. But nothing can put me down right now.


When those pills finally get here they will just add to the fun rather than be a threat. Please, take the time to reflect on what it was like to have some sort of message from a greater power. :wink:
 

sweetsweet

Well-Known Member
#4
Yeah I was drunk when I wrote that. I don't feel special at all. Actually I feel the complete opposite all the time. Even when I drink I still feel like shit but it does allow me to loosen. I have to start school pretty soon and I am terrified. That's why I've been so determined to get rid of myself before then

The pills did come. One was actually a name brand and the other is generic. I started taking the first one with alcohol a couple of days a ago and things have been hazy every since. I can't remebmer things what I've done. My mom thinks I look out of it. I never really got to the point of getting drunk because i vomitted. At least I think I vomitted. Later on I looked for traces of it and saw it nowhere. This is what I mean when things seem hazy. Friday I plan on mixing the two meds with alcohol to see what happens. Probably nothings. Shitty pills
 
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