I am feeling pretty fucking suicidal right now, I think it is loneliness, but I'll give a comprehensive list of every single reason I want to give up. Firstly, I am a social retard, it seems like every time I speak to people I embarrass myself and I never fucking learn. This stems from me not having a social life growing up, because I was badly bullied at school (which actually made me cut and feel suicidal) and I would stay at home on my own instead of developing social skills like normal kids. That part of your brain which makes witty, normal, naturally flowing conversation doesn't exist in me because I have literally never used it, so I can't talk to people very well. This means, naturally, I have no friends whatsoever, and have never had a girlfriend or had sex or whatever. Also, all the people my age have gone off to university while I'm still doing a levels, because I fucked up my first two years. I just sit at home, looking at other people talking to each other on facebook, torturing myself over pictures of them at parties, with friends etc. I don't really give a fuck if people think I have nothing to feel suicidal about, this has been my whole life. I just feel pathetic, and am socially fucked so even if my life does get better I wont know how to make any friends. Death seems like my only potential friend right about now. My life sure isn't going anywhere.