Every day seems to be getting so much harder... it's so much more difficuilt to cope, it's like i see the walls around me closing in and i'm not sure that it will get much better. Hurting myself has become an increasing thing for me, still i can't cry even though i have so much hate and pain i need to let out, the tears just don't come. I'm not eating properly, not sleeping enough, drinking too much alcohol and if i got the chance to lay down to rest and not wake up i'm pretty sure i'd seriously consider taking it at the moment. Death just seems so welcoming, I just want to switch off, I can't handle this, I wish the world could end so i wouldn't have to feel guilty about wanting to hurt and kill myself...