Each night goes by..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by TheLonelyAloePlant, Jun 21, 2009.

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  1. TheLonelyAloePlant

    TheLonelyAloePlant Well-Known Member

    And I wonder why I'm not dead yet.

    Damn, who would even care if I was shot through the head?

    All I do is cause people pain or cost them money. My mom selflessly gives to me, as does my family. I don't want them to. I don't deserve it. My mom needs money for surgery to fix her back, and I just leech it off of her like a parasite. I get "I love you" every day, but does she actually f-cking mean it?

    Who would love a depressive leech like me?

    None of my friends want to hear sh-t about my depression, I'm a burden to everyone around me. They go silent and change the subject like it doesn't hurt like hell.

    I've been hiding it, acting as if all my problems are gone. But why are they gone? The medication? The damned medication is the only thing keeping me alive. My depression gets worse? They prescribe more pills. That's all my life will ever be. A numbness from those little white pills.
  2. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    hey there. sorry ur feelin low :hug:
    it sounds as tho u hav a real nice mum ther.im sure she means it when she says 'i lov u'.or why wud she say it and support u.
    mabye ur friends change th subject in fear of saying something wrong 2 u- like not wanting 2 trigger u.iv found ppl do this 2 me but its because they dont undrstand.not because they dont care.
    i hope u wake up feeling a bit better x
  3. TheLonelyAloePlant

    TheLonelyAloePlant Well-Known Member

    How will I ever find a lover if all I do is need someone to support me? I've heard that guys hate girls that need emotional support.
  4. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    thats not always true. yes, people (boys or girls) avoid people with depression, but they do that because they dont understand, and they are afraid in some way.
    but when you find someone who loves you, he will support you, because love means support too.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I hope that's not true. :blub:
  6. fpl

    fpl Member

    I can garantee you that you´re wrong. I would do everything for the woman I´d love, even if she needed emotional support. Everything, everything. That´s what´s love about. :)

    Best wishes
  7. passer

    passer Active Member

    Girls only choose assholes, maybe that's your problem, quit looking for handsome boys and try emotional ones that aren't that nice to look at but have a nice inside, would help!
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