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"Earthbound Spirits"(?)

Discussion in 'Opinions, Beliefs, & Points of View' started by FoundAndLost1, Feb 14, 2008.

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  1. Well, here I go (stupid me maybe)...

    This is about "an experience", not a definition of validity. (I've had my own myself and I truly don't give a wit if anyone believes me or not, but...) My mother has been having dreams, almost nightly, about my verbally and emotionally abusive father, whom she was married to for 51, mostly bitter, years. In these [naturally upsetting] dreams, he invades her sleep (there's no better word to describe it) and repeats his former behavior, which is, as he was in life, very abusive, aggressive, and totally unrelenting in his spite and caustic anger.

    The thing is, he's been dead (suicide) for over 8 years! And he in fact died the way he'd lived his life - with a (not punny) "parting shot". At first, I thought (and tried to convince her as well) that she was simply experiencing a subconscious 'outlet' for the years of hell and repeated emotional trauma she'd endured with that man, some kind of necessary mental catharsis/release. It was also rather a 'black' kind of relief when he died actually, and she did indeed make a lot of positive strides in moving on in her life. Furthermore, none of us felt any 'guilt' over not having been able to change his disposition, and his consequent death - consciously or otherwise....

    After quite a while, with these dreadful and still frequently recurring dreams, I even went so far as to suggest the potential power of "lucid dreaming" (where you try to change the outcome/turn of events or circumstances while you're dreaming - creating alternatives). And she said to me (it was and still is, just between us) she did in fact try to do so - being far more outspoken than she ever had been while he was alive (and rarely talked back to) - not only out of frustration, which she had never been 'allowed' to express, but her own outrage and anger at this invasion of her nightly rest. Still they kept happening, no matter what she did or did not do (it's like, well, he just "didn't get it"! That he wasn't the only one allowed to be Pissed OFF!).

    Still they kept on, and keep on happening. She recently told me that she'd even gone so far as to hit him repeatedly with her cane (which she keeps at her bedside - is that VIVID or what!) as he tried to get into his [former] side of the bed (if you knew my mother's disposition and gentleness - you'd absolutely marvel in disbelief!). The dreams did indeed stop for a little while, but have returned yet again...

    She is not a 'superstitious' woman, not by any stretch, but she is however devout in her faith (never met anyone quite like her actually - even though I don't subscribe to her beliefs). She even still prays for him regularly, despite what he was (and still 'seemingly' is), for the repose of his soul - that's her style... Now, after all this, neither one of us can see it as anything else but a 'haunting' for lack of a better concept/word. Or...perhaps more 'plausible', an ongoing manifestation of the terrible lingering 'energy' he foisted in this life. No matter what - it's distressing to her, night after night...though she is also not by any means 'obsessed' by this during the day (even going so far as to tell him the equivalent of 'go to hell!' when she wakes up, in her own inimitable "Christian" way)

    Perhaps, though it sounds far-fetched (and I've suggested this to her too, for lack of any other 'theory'), he doesn't "know" he's dead - and keeps coming back to the only place that's familiar to him. And to speak with her parish priest would be out of the question, inspite of her reverence and devoutness to her faith (...he's a young arrogant fop, who presumes to teach the quite elderly congregation how to be "Good Christians", according to his 'laws').

    Otherwise...Exorcism anyone??

    Any thoughts, ideas, suggestions - other than what I've already tried to 'explore'...? Again, this is not about "proof", but that her experiences are real to her...

    Last edited: Feb 14, 2008
  2. Since I hear nothing but "crickets" here, I contacted an online psychic with the same question I posed. I don't agree with his reply, though it could be possible. I know the psyche can be a powerful thing (yet he often goes on about how the dead do indeed contact us, in many ways...so I find his reply rather contradictory):

    Dear XX

    I don’t see this as a haunting, or the fact that your father does not know he has passed, I don’t see this has anything to do with your father at all (not at least the way you believe). Every single thing you have written about has taken place in your mother’s sleep and always in a dream state. That tells me it is her subconscious at work and not your father. It would not surprise me if the image of your father in these dreams is really part of your mom’s psyche, that keeps coming back to abuse herself. Hear me out here, before you say no way! I think your mother needs to forgive herself, for all those years of abuse. For not loving herself enough, to somehow put a stop to it. For years she subjected herself to abuse of all kinds (for whatever reason). I believe in 51 years she would have had many opportunities to get out, get him out, or get herself help, and now her mind and soul is coming back to her, giving her the opportunity to heal herself from decades of abuse. She needs to be gentle with herself and forgive the fact that she did not treat herself better. She at some level; enabled and permitted such abuse and that is hard for her to deal with now. There are some that believe every person in a dream really is the person dreaming. That is why she can act out now in a more dominant role in her dreams, than she did in reality. I know your dad is not the same person he was in life, that would be impossible because that is what the act of death does; it strip’s us of our earthly, physical beliefs and attitudes (for the most part) and we become whole and healed. I strongly believe the only energy haunting your mother, is her own sub-conscious and her act of forgiving herself will totally and lovingly set her free. I wish her well. Chris

    (more crickets, right?)
  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Thanks for posting this foundandlost. I love reading about a good haunting experience, since I'm into paranormal research. I think that your father's spirit doesn't realize that he he is dead and needs to move on and go to the astral world. He is stuck here in the physical world and is doing what he did when he was alive, which is torment your mother. He is attached to her. You need to ask your priest or a psychic to help him to leave her alone. Something has to be done or else he will continue tormenting her.
  4. Bless ya' Davey!!

    (yeah - I'll have to keep looking, cuz her parish priest is out of the question - he'd probably call her the "sinner")
  5. Thanks for your PM (you know who you are) :smile:
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