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Eat less need less

LostInDreamland

Well-Known Member
#1
So this may not be the right subcategory because it is more than just appearance but there is that element as well.

This will be a long post sorry in advance.

Little bit if history. I have always had body image issues. Both my parents and all my adult relatives on my mom's side have been overweight growing up. And they all (my dad never said anything because he was gone a lot working) said things about our (my siblings and my cousins) weight. My siblings (all older than me), one of my cousins, and myself were seen as overweight and it was commented on frequently. My mom would often say "I don't want you to end up like me". Now looking back at pictures of myself I know I was not overweight.

When I was in college my depression and anxiety hit hard. My second year I got into dorms that had a communal kitchen so I was allowed not to have a meal plan. Since my depression was bad I often did not eat without realizing it. I started loosing weight. I was happy about that and mom commented on it and how I was starting to look so healthy. I got down to 180lb (age 20-21, height 5'4") and I felt still needed to loose weight because the chart in the doctor's office says my weight should be 140lb based on height. I wasn't trying at the time to loose weight it was just a by product of being depressed and needing to cook myself. For a week or so I decided to see how much calories I was consuming each day and discovered it was on average 500 calories only.

It was then that I started doing it deliberately. Eating nothing or very little and discovered that the less I ate the less I needed to eat.

Then because of a new med I was taking was making me manic (found out I have bipolar) I started eating more again and gained a lot of weight. Each med I have tried since has made me gain weight. And no matter what I do I can't get rid of it. Though the past 2ish years I have been pretty steady sticking around 240lb. It doesn't really matter if I eat a lot or nothing it just stays there. It does seem as though the fat is changing where it sits and is going more in my stomach and butt so I am proportioned differently even at the same weight.

Now the point - Recently I have not been able to work and have no income so food is pretty low. I have people that have said I can come over to eat any time but it feels rude to me to invite myself and my family doesn't have spare income so I don't feel I can impose on them. I have started to eat barely anything again in these last 6 months out of necessity but am glad that I don't have much to eat. I know it is not good but at the same time I feel like it should be a good thing because maybe I'll loose weight and maybe I'll be pretty and maybe I'll like pictures of myself and maybe I'll like myself. I know this is toxic thinking but I don't think I want to stop. I have this image in my head of what I should look like and when I don't I hate it. I hate my body and wish I could cut off the parts that don't look right.

When I think about eating I start thinking again "the less I eat the less I need to eat" like it is a mantra.

Sorry for rambling. Thanks for reading
 

Kikuhiko

Cleric of the Moonlight
#2
Well I'd say you probably should ask for help, I went through a phase when I was eating very little, mostly because I can't actually tell when I'm hungry so I normally have to have an alarm to remind me to eat, because otherwise I can last days without any food, but I ended up in a pretty bad condition after that, I remember there were times where I would just collapse on the floor because I was just that hungry but just couldn't move my body at all and would have to fall asleep wherever I feel so I could regain enough energy to walk, and after I started eating better I would still have times where I'd just get really dizzy and had to take a rest because I was just that weak.

In any case it's not really an experience I'd recommend and I'd encourage to accept the help from your friends and family, because if things turn out poorly you will cause you're friends and family much more stress than imposing on a few meals would ever cause.
 

Davemeister

Well-Known Member
#3
I've been eating scarcely lately. It is definitely not good for brain functionality. I've been this way in the past and recognise that it's not doing me much good these days either. Although, I'm eating "reasonably" well during this time of my life, at one point I was eating such poor amounts of nutritious food and so infrequently that I felt back then a little how I've been feeling more recently (just not quite to the same extent as back then).

Eating well helps with mood, energy levels, reduces depressive states, has other physical and psychological benefits. Never underestimate the value of a well-balanced and healthy diet. You have my full support! All y'all!
 

Dinolaur

Human by day, Dino by night
#4
Hello @LostInDreamland i know exactly how you feel. I’ve had a few people in my life mention to me that I’m overweight. It’s hurtful. I hate my body, very much like you, I’d love to just be able to cut off the parts I don’t like. My stomach is my problem area and I detest it. I have fibromyalgia so find it extremely hard to lose any weight, if any at all. I try hard to eat healthy and well but it doesn’t always happen that way. I’m not as active as I could or should be but that is the fibro. I tend to not eat much when my mental health is in a bad way or even when I’m stressed. My partner goes mad at me when he notices that I’m not eating, I hope you feel better soon x
 

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