Hi, I liked what blindsides said, and I agree. Already I feel like I've been helped just by reading the stories of others in similar situations. I'm just trying to live right now, hence my name which is my current status as well as my goal. I've messed a lot of things up in my life, and I would like to try to piece them together before I fall apart. Doing everything I can to stay positive: therapy, talking to friends, 5-HTP, meditation, tai chi... it's not easy but I've made it this far. Anyway, I wish you all well. When I see other people's stories, I hope fervently that everyone comes out ok. So, for what it's worth, I'm on your side. Even though I don't know you, I know what haunts you. Take care.