Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by endlessskies58, Apr 22, 2009.

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  1. endlessskies58

    endlessskies58 Well-Known Member

    this drug is unbearably easy to get addicted to because it feels so good.

    it isn't a physical addiction but a mental one.

    but if done right, it is amazing.

    i was able to get over my ex with it.

    it just helps you look at things that are painful in an indifferent point of view so you are able to accept it and just move on. you feel so good and happy that things that usually hurt you won't and you can look at the problem logically. it was like having therapy except within a couple hours.

    i really wish kids hadn't abused it because i think it is a miracle drug.

    its been a month since i did it and i actually feel normal again.

    i still get sad but its not to the point of wanting to kill myself.

    problem i think is the cravings you get after doing it... i crave it still... not physically but mentally...

    and after a while i did get confused about my reality a little bit but i'm very good now.

    has anyone had an experience like this?
  2. pandamonium

    pandamonium Well-Known Member

    I have had a similar experience with ecstasy.

    I have had depression since I was 14, nothing made me feel better about my life (with one small exception). Anti depressants stopped me from feeling sad, but they also stopped me from feeling.

    About 6 months after I sunk into my most recent depression (that one exception decided he stopped loving me) I tried ecstasy at a music festival. It made me feel happy, I formed friendships with complete strangers and shaked a lot of bitterness and negative feelings I had. I felt like it allowed me to be the real me. The me I couldn't be with my self doubt, shy and awkwardness. When on it I remember stretching my arms into the air and feeling such happiness I have never felt in my life, I loved the world and everything around me. Everything just seemed like it was going to be okay.

    After taking it I felt a huge change in myself. In all honestly I was scared coming down, having my brain scattered. By in the next day I felt like a huge weight had been lifted, I thought it was just the afterglow but weeks and months later it remained. I don't believe I feel addicted mentally or physically, I try not to use it more then 4 times a year.

    Before anyone starts slamming me for sharing my experience I do not believe ecstasy is a miracle cure for depression. I know that so many people have had horrible reactions to it, including a few people on this site. Please don't consider taking it if you think it will help your depression, changes are it wont. All I can say is be educated on the topic, read the good and the bad and know what can happen when on it, it is very unpredictable. Go read the book Anna's Story for Anna's friends descriptions on what happened the night Anna took ecstasy and died. If you are thinking of trying it do your research, buy a flippen drug testing kit and test before taking it. have people look after you, tell your friends if you need medical attention to tell the paramedics what you have taken. Don't know if I have said too much and if mods will edit this, might just stop here.
  3. p3cky

    p3cky Account Closed

    it hasnt done me much good it makes me dream that i was in the state of being intxocated on ecstasy as ecstasy floods with your brain with the chemical in the brain serotonin which is a feel good chemical so it is all about how you react to it. but i do get scared about the come down going from the feeling the best in the world to the worst i consider it as a lower form of ice which realease's dopamine, serotonin and norepinephrine which are all feel good chemicals of the brain or rewarding chemicals
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Tried it once when I was 14,hated it. :dunno:
  5. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Never tried ecstasy, but I get what you mean, and see how it could help you get over an ex.
    When you try heavy drugs like that, it can completely change your perspective. You will come down, but things may seem different. You might realize certain things are trivial that you used to think were a big deal. It's risky though. One problem is getting addicted. Another is coming down and feeling worse. But there can also be revelations as well.
    Drugs have done that for me. Taken me outside of myself so I could see clearly. Funny that sometimes you see things clearer or for what they really are when your brain is on drugs :laugh:.
  6. hardcore

    hardcore Well-Known Member

    if you keep taking the same type of tab you can get addicted because very few tabs are pure. Although since you will probably take alot of diferent tabs then you won't get addicted cause they all have diferent ingredients. BUT BE WARNED speed is very common in tabs and that 'good feeling' could have been speed, very similiar. Speed can perminantly change you brain and cause phsychosis among other things. I have had similiar experiences with x. I can tell that it hasn't hurt me as much as the other drugs I have used and the addiction is mental. When I feel really alone there is a place 20 minutes away that I can find 100 people who want to talk and hear my story, people that often understand me because they have had problems too. But I also know that it weekens the rest of life. Because it can change my view on the rest of the world. One message to anyone out there. Street drugs are dangerous but otc, household, and perscription drugs can be EXTREMELY dangerous. I have learned this the hard way. x can be done safetly for instance triple-c, however, cannot because it is terrible for you. As for prescription drugs, they are perscribed for a reason.
  7. levitated-one

    levitated-one Well-Known Member

    I have done a lot of x, but now I'm clean for almost 2 years, clean from drugs.
    Basically x is fun and all, if you're in a good state of mind. You can't abuse it, cause if you do you get more into depression than a person who has never done it.
    Just basically do it once every month or so, you'll be fine..dont overdo it, or it'll get boring..and it's gonna be sad..really..sad.

    There are many health issues associated with this might get a sudden heart attack.. a short of breath, or out of body experiences.. be careful with what you're dealing with..just be safe.
  8. soapymongoose

    soapymongoose Well-Known Member

    I still miss it a lot and it was over a year ago that I last did it, and 5 or 6 years since I "lived" off the stuff.

    I say to people that it developed a lot of the good traits of my personality, because that what it feels like when I look back. I do miss it though.
  9. Feared.Desire

    Feared.Desire Well-Known Member

    First time I did it I felt amazing for a while after but that wore off, so I did it again. And again. And Again.

    And it does not let you see things realistically.
    Picture three windows; one is covered in dirt and other shit, one is a normal window, and the other one is bright pink.
    Because we suffer from depression we see things through the dirty window, which makes everything look like shit as well.
    The aim is to look through the middle window.
    When high on ecstasy (which is commonly more meth than anything else) you are seeing things through the pink window, which creates another problem entirely, because just like the shit covered window, this is not realistic. Neither the dirty window nor the pink windows are reality.

    Ecstasy, or rather the meth (which releases dopamine) or mdma (which release more serotonin) cause a serious imbalance in you’re system. Because of the large amount that is released in such a large burst when you take it, your body will respond by producing less in the future, making you more depressed, not less.

    So, as you said, it may see as though it’s helping you, but as you said, it is all too easy to get hooked on it.
    There is a reason they no longer use MDMA medically.

    Having said all that, if doing it once helped you, I’m glad.
    But I think you should leave it at that.
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