I've been evaluated by a team of doctors at the hospital and decided that ECT was a good option. I've already been on multiple trials of medications and now I had to make a choice. I did go through all the testing and my ECT treatments was all set and the day of my shock treatment, I backed out. I got scared. My roomate in the hospital was on his first week of ECT and he cried every night. He complained that me can't remember anything. It was so hard to watch. I know this was a treatment that I might benefit from. I'm compulsive and attempted suicide twice. I suffered long enough, I just want to sleep and not wake up. I never told anyone that I was feeling suicidal nor did anyone knew what I've done. I didn't want any help. I still have difficultly talking about what is going on in my mind. Has anyone been through ECT? How did it feel like? Did it help?