Alright, so I was bound to end up posting about this, but been putting it off, as it's all still so far away. But as it's been on my mind a lot recently, maybe I should give a vent about it a try at least. :dunno: Some of you know I got accepted into university and can start in September. I'm gonna do the bachelor English Language and Culture as the English language is something I'm very passionate about and I hope to be able to speak English as good as the natives eventually. (Or at least nearly as good). Now y'all might know I'm rather insecure about my English, especially my speech. I posted about it before, and I know people keep telling me that my English is just fine and everything, but I can't shake that feeling of insecurity about it off, as in my eyes, it's not good enough. And I doubt I'll ever feel it's good enough. But that's not my main point in this post. What I'm starting to really stress about is whether I can actually keep up at university. I know everyone in high school has always said I should go to university, as that's what my level of intelligence can handle, but I haven't exactly done anything educational for over 2 years, and by the time I start at university I will have had no education for over 2.5 years. I feel I've gotten less intelligent within this time. At least that's what I notice in small things. I could go to college rather than university, as I'm really afraid that I will have to end up dropping out of university yet again, cos of me just not being able to handle the difficulty. But that's where the other problem comes in. There's only one course I would be interested in at college level (Translator's Academy), but that's only back in the south east part of the country, not far from where I grew up, or in one of the biggest cities in the middle of the country. And I am NOT going back down to where I grew up, as it's a shithole and I feel at my place in the area I live now. It's pretty central and I can get anywhere from around here, whereas from down there, I'd have to travel a long way just to get out of that part of the country. And to go to the big city up north from here. I can't. I don't feel home in big cities, especially not the big dutch ones. They're nice to visit now and again, but to live there. No. I'm home where I live now. If I'm moving it's gonna be into an apartment or out of the country. I don't know. I'm just scared I guess. After all, it's been quite a while.