EEK! A Spider!

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by SpiderofBeauty, Jan 14, 2010.

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  1. My name is Lilly, most people online know me as Spider, to be honest I do prefer it. I'm 18 and I've been through a lot in my life. I have a problem with self harm, I cut, burn, and hit myself. Not many people in my life know about it though because I always smile for them. I've always had trouble opening up to the people around me. It seems the only time I can be completely open is when I'm sharing a bed with the person. I know it's not healthy. I don't feel like I'm good enough for myself. People tell me I'm beautiful because I'm thin, people tell me I'm smart because I was good in school, people tell me I'm lucky, but they don't know about my childhood. I feel like nobody ever sees me for me, I know it's my own fault for hiding behind smiles. I've been thinking about suicide quite a bit lately, not quite considering it, but thinking about how I would do it if I decided to. I really don't feel like dying yet and I'm hoping this feeling of drowning in my own smile will go away if I talk to someone about how I'm feeling. Sorry for the long introduction.

    Off subject: Is this the cake from portal??? ---> :cake:
  2. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    Welcome to the forum, Lilly (did you know that I was almost named Lilly when I was born? probably not =P). No worries about the lengthy introduction -- it was interesting to read. I look forward to seeing you around, maybe in chat? If there's anything that you find confusing about the forum and whatnot, feel free to ask -- I don't bite... much. hehe

    To be honest, I have no idea where the cake is from.

  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to the forums Spider!! I'm sure you will find it quite easy to talk here, no one judges you and you can speak your mind..Take care!!
  4. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    raid! we need raid!!!!!!!!
  5. Haha, thanks everyone. I'll probably go to the chat quite a bit.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Lilly! :welcome: to the forum :D
  7. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    welcome to the forum spider i liek to think its the cake from portal... the cake is a lie!!! :laugh:
  8. SmilePretty

    SmilePretty Staff Alumni

    hi Spider!
    if you plan to go into chat a lot, i will probably see you in there! Welcome to SF, i hope you find the support that you need. Be sure to check out the self-harm subforum :)
  9. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum Lily. You do not need to hide behind smiles here. Just be who you are. we understand. :hug:
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