After several decades of abstinence, several months ago I started smoking cannabis again. Not long after I had recommenced I had an unusual experience. The thought of suicide came to me as it had so many times before but this time I was taken aback and ‘appalled’. Suddenly I realized ‘this is the normal reaction’ this is what normal people feel when there is talk of suicide. This was very strange for me because I had long been reconciled to ending my own life both intellectually and emotionally and this reaction was quite contrary to my established response. After several months of regular use I notice that I simply never think about suicide anymore. I presumed this was a rare effect since I had never heard of anyone else reporting it and I thought little more about it until one day someone on another forum said their husband found cannabis the only effective treatment for his bi-polar which I had also never heard of and so I thought maybe it is a common effect – where better to find out if it works for others than here I thought so I ask – what effect, if any, does cannabis have on your thoughts of suicide?
I find that it dispels the awful anxiety without putting me into a stupor, like the benzodiazapines do, and with the anxiety lessened, I feel less like suicide. I can't say for sure that the reduction in feeling suicidal is directly related to cannabis, cause there's lots of other factors at work here, but I think it's a good anti-depressant/anti-anxiety drug and doesn't knock me out or give me any unpleasant side effects. Just my opinion, in no way back by solid "evidence", just my experience. least
Based on experience, I would tend to think that weed makes you not want to die. Theoretically, you are high, and feel good, or at least different. And I dont think feeling good is conducive to suicide. Now, i have heard of people having different reactions to weed, and in this case, it is plausible that they might freak out or something.
True, and some people have died from allergic reactions after receiving penicillin or eating peanuts, but that doesn't mean that as a rule either substance should be re-classified as harmful. Likewise, even if some persons totally freak out and experience a break from reality, it should always be viewed within the context of the statistical norm. To approach the issue based upon a small sampling of bad experiences while ignoring the overall status quo is simply hysterics.
I was v interested to find out why cannabis seemed to 'remove' all thoughts of suicide and examined my own thought patterns and what I found was that when I am straight, I tend to look at the large arc of my life. I see that it is going nowhere but downhill and that there is monumentally small chance of that ever changing and that, since death is inevitable anyway, the rational thing to do is quit before I get too old, too infirmed or in too bad a situation in some other way, eg a serious accident. What happens when I take cannabis is that I get interested in ‘smaller things’, eg the letter I am writing, the model I am making, the food I am preparing, etc. If I deliberately look at the large arc of my life, while I am under the influence of cannabis, it still seems hopeless and the suicide rationale seems still to be sound – it is just that when I am taking cannabis I am not drawn to the big picture, my interest is constantly drawn to smaller things. Another unusual effect was brought to the fore when I was walking down a pathway the other day and woman looked at me and said, ‘hello smiler’. I realized I was walking along smiling for no particular reason and I also realized that I also hadn't done that in decades. I do acknowledge that some people have v negative reactions to cannabis. Apart from the well-publicized triggering of psychotic episodes in vulnerable people (of whom my son is one) these effects seem to me to be usually related to paranoia. It does seem to be a drug which has markedly different effects on different people. A friend of mine dislikes it because he finds it de-motivating whereas it always livens me up. He uses it because it controls his tendency to violence. I would prefer if people who comment vote and people who vote comment but to do only one or the other is fine - this has been an interesting poll so far but the numbers are too small at the moment to mean anything much but I would like to thank everyone for their contributions.
Lately there has been a real shortage of Cannabis in my area and I have found that after 12-36 hours without that 'medication' the thoughts of suicide begin to return however the emotional acceptance is less forthcoming. Now I find a dissonance between my thoughts about suicide and my feelings about it. Despite this I am sure that if I go without for long enough my thoughts will eventually pull my emotions back into line (so to speak).
I don't think it lessens the thoughts of suicide for me but it does make me less anxious, which is a help! My psych was horrified when I told him that I'd started using it (mostly cos my gp won't give me anything to help with anxiety).... his experience was that increased problems not helped. :dunno:
For me it's most definately a good anti-anxiety and anti-depressant. I like it cause I can control the dose from just a little to a lot, depending on how ragged I feel at the time. I told my shrink that as much as I like the benzodiazapines, I like cannabis more... it's just harder to get sometimes, that's all.
Shygirl, perhaps you could show the material from this thread to your shrink to reassure them. Shrinks are such touchy creatures and so vulnerable you really have to coddle them.
Last night I got high and I felt more at ease than I have in ages. But then there are a lot of other factors at work there, for example the fact that I was actually vaguely socialising :dry: so I'm not going to put a cause-effect label on this. What I will say is that I have seen people get VERY paranoid when stoned, so although it relieved my paranoia it must make it worse for some people, which wouldn't exactly cheer you up :blink:. EDIT: Apologies for incoherency of post. I'm having a bad day.
When I smoke, I cannot stop thinking. I think about everything going on around me, I analyze everything. I have discovered repressed memories from smoking. Sometimes I think about things too much and it will freak me out and I will get depressed. But I can also think about everything, then find the humor in every single thing. I don't just laugh at stupid stuff, I just will think about how silly some concept is and it makes me laugh. It's hard to explain. My experience changes slightly every time.
