Considering my options is as important a habit to acquire as is making decisions and taking action, but thoughts keep whirling around in my head that I'd be better off dead. Perhaps it is time to stick my head out of my shell and partake , rather than contemplating the why's and wherefores of the world around me. Not everything needs to be carefully planned and managed, but my plans should include a good mix of needs and desires. At the very least, taking joy in simple things. Socializing on a small scale may be just what I need to quench which has been that unquenchable thirst of my soul. Besides, experience is a vital part of my life-path journey.. I shall be cautious though, taking no one’s words, nor appearances, as the truth. Generally, it's easier to say "yes" than "no," as it is more pleasing to fulfill rather than disappoint. However, saying "no" can give me the freedom to get what I really want. Therefore, "pleasure" is not always easy to come by. A restrictive force seems to be holding me back from taking action on my thoughts. Tears are welling up inside, reminding me to add a touch of conservatism to what it is I have planned. My mind, working hard to become in harmony with my heart. I'm trying to avoid righteous indignation, whining, prideful anger, or self-pity. Doing my best to move through life in as simple and powerful a manner as possible, but it seems whatever I am looking for, just keeps moving further and further away from me. I am being forced downward without any control, anxieties elevated, with a sense of failure and inferiority. I have lost my foothold and there is nothing I can do to hold on - frustrated as the voice is not being heard. Everyday seemingly more unstable and turbulent.