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Eh....Any tips???

StrangeRanger

Well-Known Member
#1
My confidence has kinda risen over the past year but these past few days have been hard on my self esteem... I just kinda feel like Im not enough & maybe too skinny or dispoportioned for my boyfriend or anyone over the years in general.. almost feels like people get sick of my face tbh.. If I wear make up, or do my exercises, or anything.. I just feel boring & gross.. Im not one of those girls who gets mad about porn or really gets jealous, Im not one to fight at all but... it hurts my self esteem a bit & I unfortunately cant discuss it much.. ik it may sound stupid but I just feel very low... during the summer I did try to talk to him evidently he claimed me being insecure would make him want to break up with me, which was surprising because I was light about the subject.. I brought it up once. Im pretty introverted & dont get to share my feelings almost at all, guess Im venting a little... Im just afraid my mind will go back to where it used to be... I hate to admit it but I felt like hurting myself again a few times for not feeling beautiful enough. Ive been told so many things... I got bullied a lot growing up, & shit got confusing. It went from "youre ugly" to "youre pretty" over time but I still feel gross & confused.. I get shamed for being small which is kinda out of the blue for me, I was called fat a lot in middle school. Im only 100 pounds now, when I was 14, I was 135....Anyways.. We've hit weird spot really. Ive been in a lot of bad relationships, either I was a punhing bag or just a toy to people, so Ive heard a whirlwind of insults & niceties here with my appreance, weird mind tricks there...This is the best one Ive had, he isnt like the others... He doesnt compliment me much anymore which kinda sucks. I dont ask for much but.... I noticed a shift. Idk... does anyone have any tips to fight off insecure thoughts??? I feel like whatever I do gets old fast... Ive been better about my esteem but... idk if its me, the situation, or both.....
 
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Lane

SF Supporter
#3
Hi @StrangeRanger. I think relationships go through stages and people grow and change too. I'm glad that the guy you're with isnt like the other ones. You sound very intuitive, like when you said he doesn't compliment you as much. I think a person can start to get comfortable and even take it for granted that their girlfriend is just there.

To fight off insecure thoughts, I have to think.

I really would do things that you want to do and reach out to your friends and family that don't necessarily relate to him all the time. Creating a life seperate from him is good and then maybe you will become stronger. I've heard that working on yourself is always a good thing. I hope that he is thoughtful. I would think about what you want from a relationship, eg. Someone who talks with you, someone who likes to go out, someone affectionate,
 

StrangeRanger

Well-Known Member
#4
@may71 I think youre right.... There needs to be a bit more maturity between us I believe. We both want long term evidently, his views on marriage are a bit shot. I managed to talk to him a little fortunately today
 

StrangeRanger

Well-Known Member
#5
@Lane yeah I can be a bit intuitive I wont lie haha. Its taken me a bit to let him know Im here for him, hes a bit older than me but this is his longest relationship so I try to take baby steps with it. Im gonna have to take your advice & put it to action, thank you. I know I want something mature & eventually marriage. Its gonna be hard to talk to him about it but he wants us to move out of state so it may be a good sign. I know we can make it & I need to do some more self reflection... makes me anxious to see where this goes...
 

Lane

SF Supporter
#6
@Lane yeah I can be a bit intuitive I wont lie haha. Its taken me a bit to let him know Im here for him, hes a bit older than me but this is his longest relationship so I try to take baby steps with it. Im gonna have to take your advice & put it to action, thank you. I know I want something mature & eventually marriage. Its gonna be hard to talk to him about it but he wants us to move out of state so it may be a good sign. I know we can make it & I need to do some more self reflection... makes me anxious to see where this goes...
It's ok to take the time that you need to make sure. It's an exciting time and we're here for you.
 

neutralbuoyancy

stuck in place yet again
#8
welp the only advice i have for you notice little things about yourself like let's say oh you look good in a dress today or you are comforting be around or your fingers look good when you wear a ring. stuff like that like slowly solidify your confidence may be
 

Dinolaur

Human by day, Dino by night
#9
hey @StrangeRanger
I don’t really have much to say as I’m very insecure about myself. But I think if he says that about breaking up coz you’re a little insecure, my advice on that is, if he can’t handle you at your worst, why does he deserve your best?
My fiancé is very understanding, he gets angry with me for being so insecure but he’d never say anything like that.

However it’s great that he’s not been like the rest of your past bfs. That’s great. But maybe he needs to learn that we all have issues with our bodies. As women there’s a perceived image that we all have to look exactly the same because media has made us think that. It’s not really a reason to dump somebody over *hug
 

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