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Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Spearmint, Mar 21, 2008.

  1. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    Another thread from me, I bet you all are just so excited.

    To be honest I don't think this site is helping anything, I don't think it ever has, sure, it's a great site to vent, but other than that, nothing. I feel like if you aren't an attention seeker or whatever, you get no support, and that's fucked up. But enough 'bout this site.

    Really, M, D, as soon as I'm 18 I'm out, I'll live on the streets if I have to, but I'm over this with you two, and I'm done with S calling me a freak, etc, him and his anger problems, I can't even say anything back to him because M you freak out, and D you think I cause all of the problems. I thought you said you were going to quit drinking? I guess not, another one of your failed attempts at being normal. You went for how long? A week? And then it was back to your fucking bottle that you're drowning yourself in. And please M, D, stop asking me everyday about when I'm going to be normal again, because I'm not going to fucking be normal. Honestly, how many times have I told you guys that the medicine I've been on since December, is not helping?! I've been so down recently, and you guys haven't even noticed, I cut myself, yesterday, really badly, and I have to go to the beach Saturday. :laugh: I'm such a stupid c.u.n.t. I cut knowing that I was going to the beach. But to be honest, it's the only way I know how to cope with anything, and I can't even talk to people about how I'm feeling. I can only type to this site, and that's pathetic, I can't talk to anyone irl because they will send me away. I am a pathetic person. Friends don't know, family doesn't know, no one knows! I am basically keeping myself alive by cutting and drugs, and that is so pathetic, I'm basically always high, it's lovely, but it's not enough, I need stronger, harder stuff, and I know where to get it, hell, I've gotten it plenty of times, but I can't use it as often as I like because I can't be addicted to more than one drug, that would just be idiotic and ridiculous. But whatever, because I know people are just going to skim right over this, not realizing that I'm basically pouring my soul into this, but they feel the need to judge me without knowing me.
  2. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    I didn't skim over it!
    I know how you feel, my parents blame me for nearly every problem in their life, it's frustrating, theyre older and have control over you in lots of ways, so you can't win. It's a terrible situation. Some parents need to learn to treat their kids as ACTUAL HUMAN BEINGS who deserve respect like any other person, rather than just a nuisance or whatever........anyway.......I don't know.
  3. Surviving

    Surviving Well-Known Member

    I didn't skim over it either, I just wish I had the words to make it better...

    To be perfectly honest, life at your age really freakin sux some times...but I know it does get better. From the time I was 16 I basically made it it own and just kept fighting every day for me. I fell down quite a few times, and some of those were in deep dark holes. You have to will your way out, and I did because I wanted to prove to people I could. (not that that is what motivates you, it's just my example).

    Anyway, I hope that didn't sound hollow or any thing as I think I know some of what you're feeling...

    PM me if you ever wanna chat. I can always lend an ear...
  4. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    :hug: :hug: AwesomeJess..

    See, no skimming over on my part either! :cheekkiss

    I know there's nothing I can do to help you at this moment, as much as I wish I could just come there and get you over here to live your life properly.
    Where you are now, you're held back and can't live your life to the fullest. I guess it's all about hanging in there just a few more years. :sad: :hug:

    It's not pathetic that you can only come to this site, Jess. It's hard to confide in people irl, way harder than to confide in a keyboard and a screen. Because of course it sucks if people judge you, but it's not as hard to be judged by some person behind a screen on the other side of the world, than by someone irl...

    Urgh, I'm not being helpful here, am I... Okay, well I'll just stop here and tell you yet again, that I will listen to whatever you've got to say if you want to talk. You know how to reach me. Email me anytime

    :hug: :hug:
  5. Will

    Will Staff Alumni


    I know alot of what you mean. And I know that pretty much anyone who's been here for a great while, it gets to a point where posting doesn't do much. Because, everyone New who comes here, usually gets...quite a bit of support. But it takes a certain kind of person for people to want to reply. That bugs me at times, but it's because of that most of the time the people who've been here for awhile don't get anything.

    I too pretty much plan to hit the streets at 18. Not for freedom, just to get away. But I think being alone like that would actually screw me up, but hey, not that I'm already not.

    You don't know how similar that is to my situation, I haven't posted in a long time. First it's just a post once a week, and eventually only in the let it out room. Not because it's disappointing (even if slightly) when no one responds normally, but it's like a little call for help. But then it just gets to a point where you don't even want to post. :sad:

    Sorry, I know I haven't said really anything that's helped, but I just relate with you on stuff like SF. While it's a great place, it's not 'for everyone'.
  6. jonstark

    jonstark Well-Known Member

    Heh jess what the fuck is there to say. Depression forces one to want to run away because maybe it's the evnironment's fault check. Depression lowering one's self-esteem check.
    Good luck alyways. You'll always have my support; for all it's worth. I've seen enough of you to think you are way cool.
    Hell is on Earth and we're in it.
  7. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Jess, sorry you feel so alone and forgotten. But you are a wonderful person. You liven up chat each time you come. Yes SF can really add to your feelings of despair. The "oldies" sometimes get forgotten about. It's almost as if when you've been here awhile it becomes your job to help others rather than to seek help. But I think it is just something that we allow ourselves to feel. But if you ever need to talk I'm a pm away. Don't ever think you aren't important hun. I'm not about to give up on you. So don't you either.
  8. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    :hug: Thanks, transmission, Surviving, AwesomEst, Billy, Jon, and itmah. Your words did help, even if you think they didn't. :hug::wub: