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Ideas & Opinions Ehh, not really a strategy for "success", but pretty good.

Legate Lanius

Try not to kill yourself 2020 challenge.
#1
If you're like me and you have a bad habit of self-awareness and speculating on what the wider public think of your traits/lifestyle/actions, then I have something that might help. When we imagine what other's think of us it usually comes down to imagining the most "normal", average Joe, sort of person's opinion. Now, sure, the average person will look down on you for not even having enough motivation to do the dishes. They will most likely not want you to have food or water if you don't have a job, and so on. But there are many people who will not think that way. Wait, that wasn't what I was supposed to write.

So, instead of comparing yourself to more successful people that are more conscientious, or as a complimentary practice at the least. You should compare yourself to people that are judged as even worse than you, because they do exist! Wife-beaters, child-rapists, and so on.

Hope it helps.
 

Dark111

Scholar's Mate
SF Supporter
#3
If you're like me and you have a bad habit of self-awareness and speculating on what the wider public think of your traits/lifestyle/actions, then I have something that might help. When we imagine what other's think of us it usually comes down to imagining the most "normal", average Joe, sort of person's opinion. Now, sure, the average person will look down on you for not even having enough motivation to do the dishes. They will most likely not want you to have food or water if you don't have a job, and so on. But there are many people who will not think that way. Wait, that wasn't what I was supposed to write.

So, instead of comparing yourself to more successful people that are more conscientious, or as a complimentary practice at the least. You should compare yourself to people that are judged as even worse than you, because they do exist! Wife-beaters, child-rapists, and so on.

Hope it helps.
It's true that people are very much aware of where they and others are in the hierarchies of life, and of course those higher up look down on those a few rungs beneath them. People are very much aware of who has the power and who doesn't really have any. What I find interesting here is that you place it within a moral framework as opposed to the typical external measures of success. It's true high trait conscientiousness can help advance people in life but so can cheating, lying and nepotism.
 

Legate Lanius

Try not to kill yourself 2020 challenge.
#4
It's true that people are very much aware of where they and others are in the hierarchies of life, and of course those higher up look down on those a few rungs beneath them. People are very much aware of who has the power and who doesn't really have any. What I find interesting here is that you place it within a moral framework as opposed to the typical external measures of success. It's true high trait conscientiousness can help advance people in life but so can cheating, lying and nepotism.
Well, that's because the average person dislikes a child-raping successful entrepreneur more than a homeless crack addict.
 

Legate Lanius

Try not to kill yourself 2020 challenge.
#6
Hmm yeah. So the thinking is well, my kitchen might look like a bomb hit it but at least I'm not a psychopath :)
Not really, the whole thing is just changing the "the average person wants me to die" to "the average person would not have such a big problem with me if they had just met a worse person". I don't have a problem with psychopaths unless they start shit. I actually did all of the dishes, btw. Lol. Gotta get laundry done, left that on hold for around a month.
 

Legate Lanius

Try not to kill yourself 2020 challenge.
#7
Hmm yeah. So the thinking is well, my kitchen might look like a bomb hit it but at least I'm not a psychopath :)
Mental defenses are very weak, so it's easy to attack them as you are doing now. But the mind-attacks that have to be blocked are usually weak, too. I mean, comparing yourself to people with different genetics and environments is ludicrous in the first place. Everyone knows that if you compare yourself, it should be to yourself yesterday.

To defend against shite attacks, you don't need a solid defense. The idea is to replace or challenge the neurotic thoughts, if left unchecked they can do a number on your well-being. They also decrease your ability to actually, for example, get a job/education/gym membership/whatever.
 

Dark111

Scholar's Mate
SF Supporter
#8
Mental defenses are very weak, so it's easy to attack them as you are doing now. But the mind-attacks that have to be blocked are usually weak, too. I mean, comparing yourself to people with different genetics and environments is ludicrous in the first place. Everyone knows that if you compare yourself, it should be to yourself yesterday.

To defend against shite attacks, you don't need a solid defense. The idea is to replace or challenge the neurotic thoughts, if left unchecked they can do a number on your well-being. They also decrease your ability to actually, for example, get a job/education/gym membership/whatever.
Which mental defenses would I attacking be now?

In terms of human comparisons, I agree with the problem you see there. There's always the Jordan Peterson idea too: "Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today" There's a thread on his ideas in the strategies section if you have haven't already visited and are interested.
 

Legate Lanius

Try not to kill yourself 2020 challenge.
#9
Which mental defenses would I attacking be now?

In terms of human comparisons, I agree with the problem you see there. There's always the Jordan Peterson idea too: "Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today" There's a thread on his ideas in the strategies section if you have haven't already visited and are interested.
I saw the thread, I listened to Jordan a few years back for a while. Aside from the religious drivel he has some solid advice but I think he makes everything out to be a bigger deal than it is. I like quotes like "compare yourself to yourself yesterday" or "action precedes motivation" but I don't like when cleaning your room is made out to be a part of some battle between good and evil. If a self-help guy makes things seem like too big of a deal it harms my motivation way more than it helps it, because of my high neuroticism. But stuff like making small improvements right now and taking simple actions to build momentum without the need for high ambition really fits my personality.

Maybe you weren't, not sure. I am in the couch instead of laying on the bed which makes me more tired than usual, also did some chores. Maybe it's time to eat calorie-sausages and drink fat milk now.
 

Dark111

Scholar's Mate
SF Supporter
#10
I saw the thread, I listened to Jordan a few years back for a while. Aside from the religious drivel he has some solid advice but I think he makes everything out to be a bigger deal than it is. I like quotes like "compare yourself to yourself yesterday" or "action precedes motivation" but I don't like when cleaning your room is made out to be a part of some battle between good and evil. If a self-help guy makes things seem like too big of a deal it harms my motivation way more than it helps it, because of my high neuroticism. But stuff like making small improvements right now and taking simple actions to build momentum without the need for high ambition really fits my personality.

Maybe you weren't, not sure. I am in the couch instead of laying on the bed which makes me more tired than usual, also did some chores. Maybe it's time to eat calorie-sausages and drink fat milk now.
Peterson does have that flare for the dramatic alright. I think the significance he places on the 'clean your room' idea is say that if you dive in straight away and take on some monumental task, when you've hardly mastered other more basic life skills, you're setting yourself up for failure. That really does kill motivation. Competence is built by starting with the little things and working your way up.
 

Legate Lanius

Try not to kill yourself 2020 challenge.
#11
I think the significance he places on the 'clean your room' idea is say that if you dive in straight away and take on some monumental task, when you've hardly mastered other more basic life skills, you're setting yourself up for failure. That really does kill motivation. Competence is built by starting with the little things and working your way up.
Big agree, but I think that making small things bigger than they are kill motivation way quicker than failing to achieve a large goal.
 

Dark111

Scholar's Mate
SF Supporter
#12
Big agree, but I think that making small things bigger than they are kill motivation way quicker than failing to achieve a large goal.
I get your issue with the cosmic significance he endows on banality but I don't think he makes the task itself out to be a Herculean endurance test. Unless I missed that somewhere - can you point me to an example where he does this?
 

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