i miss you all so much, so very, very much. :grouphug:
things have gotten so bad here. he says he's "done" and wants nothing to do with me and wants me to be happy without him, but he refuses to divorce and is past hurtful. remember that my neighbor made a sexual advance on me and that brought up everything in my past? well, this wonderful spouse told me to go find another old man, that i like that and want it. i've never cried so hard and so long.
i think of death everyday and am so alone. my mother just lectures me. I just want it all to be over.
and, worst of all, my computer is giving up for good. it is clicking, turning off randomly, and sometimes drops every third letter. it's so old. i'm going to lose all my dissertation. sure, i could back it up, but what computer would i transfer it to? and how would i get the programs to work again? and i won't have anybody to talk to. i already can't get on here very often anymore because of it's turning off so often.
i miss everybody. i pray and think of you all the time, everyday.
good news, though, for goblin fans. she got a super A on her check-up. everything is in great shape and her spinal degeneration is slow and if i can keep it that way, she'll be great for a while. she's on prednisone now, and that makes her pee like nobody's business, but her tail is up and curly and she's walked further this week than she has in years. i'm so proud of my trooper.
trilly, however, has quit eating because of his stupid behavior. she is his kitty, even if she does spend most of her time with me now. he only comes home late at night to sleep on the couch and leave early in the morning. trilly never sees him. she's 20 years old and frail and now i can see her hip bones. i feel so badly. what kind of person hurts an animal like this?
i did do something petty, though. since he insists on sleeping on the couch and not in a bed, i took all the blankets -- i made them all anyway -- out of the living room. now he has nothing to keep him warm. he complains to his friends about sleeping on the couch, so i figured, why not let him have the whole thing to complain about. there are perfectly fine beds in the house and if wants to be a martyr, then be a full fledged one. is it bad that i don't feel guilty about doing this?
i wish i could chat, but the clicking is getting worse. i have to go. i miss you all and i love you all. please don't forget me. that's my biggest fear in the world, that nobody will ever remember me. that my existence was futile. when i cry everyday and every night, at least i like to think that somebody out there knows i'm still alive.
:gouphug: :wub: :duck:
things have gotten so bad here. he says he's "done" and wants nothing to do with me and wants me to be happy without him, but he refuses to divorce and is past hurtful. remember that my neighbor made a sexual advance on me and that brought up everything in my past? well, this wonderful spouse told me to go find another old man, that i like that and want it. i've never cried so hard and so long.
i think of death everyday and am so alone. my mother just lectures me. I just want it all to be over.
and, worst of all, my computer is giving up for good. it is clicking, turning off randomly, and sometimes drops every third letter. it's so old. i'm going to lose all my dissertation. sure, i could back it up, but what computer would i transfer it to? and how would i get the programs to work again? and i won't have anybody to talk to. i already can't get on here very often anymore because of it's turning off so often.
i miss everybody. i pray and think of you all the time, everyday.
good news, though, for goblin fans. she got a super A on her check-up. everything is in great shape and her spinal degeneration is slow and if i can keep it that way, she'll be great for a while. she's on prednisone now, and that makes her pee like nobody's business, but her tail is up and curly and she's walked further this week than she has in years. i'm so proud of my trooper.
trilly, however, has quit eating because of his stupid behavior. she is his kitty, even if she does spend most of her time with me now. he only comes home late at night to sleep on the couch and leave early in the morning. trilly never sees him. she's 20 years old and frail and now i can see her hip bones. i feel so badly. what kind of person hurts an animal like this?
i did do something petty, though. since he insists on sleeping on the couch and not in a bed, i took all the blankets -- i made them all anyway -- out of the living room. now he has nothing to keep him warm. he complains to his friends about sleeping on the couch, so i figured, why not let him have the whole thing to complain about. there are perfectly fine beds in the house and if wants to be a martyr, then be a full fledged one. is it bad that i don't feel guilty about doing this?
i wish i could chat, but the clicking is getting worse. i have to go. i miss you all and i love you all. please don't forget me. that's my biggest fear in the world, that nobody will ever remember me. that my existence was futile. when i cry everyday and every night, at least i like to think that somebody out there knows i'm still alive.
:gouphug: :wub: :duck:
:hug: