ema's no good

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by ema, Jun 7, 2011.

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  1. ema

    ema Antiquities Friend

    ema's losing it. i feel like an abandoned building that is crumbling from inside. nobody notices or cares. i have nobody to talk to. everybody just tells me to leave my spouse, but they don't listen to how complicated that is. i would have no income, lose my insurance, lose my access to resources, and have to live with my mother. very, very bad consequences. even if i could force him to pay me some and pay for my insurance, it would take time to take him through the courts for that. it's not a practical solution.

    i'm lost. i'm alone. my family won't deal with me because i won't leave him or my mother nags me to leave. his family treats me like a leper.

    i can't focus. i can't think. i can't do anything. i don't want to do anything. i want to stop trying. just give up. just fade off and leave the body sitting there. if only i could die. just too tired to care anymore.

    he says i'm lazy, mean, cruel. i don't know. maybe i am. i made bad choices. it's my fault. i screwed it all up. and now i'm miserable and alone and so sad it hurts.

    i'm going to give up. just give up. there's no point. i screwed it up and i can't fix it. nobody will ever love me again. no reason to keep trying at this weird life. nobody will even notice. that i know.
     
  2. tweetypie

    tweetypie Antiquities Friend

    Thats not true its not all your fault ..maybe you do need to leave your husband but that has to be your decision. Is there no womens refuges ? no friend you can stay with ? maybe you could get a job to support yourself (if these arent viable options then i apologise but i dont know your exact situation) maybe if you cant work you could claim ssi or relative benefit in your country. I wish i had easy answer for you but i hope you keep posting and let us know how things are xxxx
     
  3. ema

    ema Antiquities Friend

    i'm in the middle of trying to get ssdi, but my lawyer's paralegal just won't do anything. i filed for dire need and social security accepted it and now they are stuck waiting on her, which hurts my case. i'm filing a complaint with the bar association this week. but, that will probably make it worse, not better...

    i don't qualify to go to shelters or other help because my husband makes just over the line, and they always insist on that, even though i want out. i don't understand any of it.

    i'm so lost
     
  4. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    *hugs for ema!*

    I'm so sorry that this is what it's come down to my ema! :hug: It took me three years to get SSDI, and it may well take as long for you. Is it fair? No. Is it worth it? Yes. I know I don't have all the answers.

    However, I know that you are trying your hardest to keep everything together. I wish I could help you financially. I really do. But I can't, because of all the child support they are taking out of my SSDI. I only get 250 a month after all the child support.

    If it were any more, I would gladly help! :hug:

    Stay strong for the duckies! They need you!
     
  5. ema

    ema Antiquities Friend

    :hug: jason -- my special :duck:
     
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