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embaressment

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Tatara

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#1
I try to hold it in most of the time, all the things I REALLY think. I must just have a bad mind cause I rarely think much good about anyone. Then there are the people who I just can't be around for fear of blowing up and allowing the leak of all those true feelings. I got triggered tonight in the chat room and I've never felt a worse flush of embaressment for a long time.

there was rage behind my eyes as no one can ever see how I feel with my twisted turny feelings. No one will ever understand how real they are to me, my husband tries and he helps because he can just listen. He knows its just my opinion even if he doesn't agree with me (I don't even know if he does). Why can't I ever talk about how I feel on certain subjects? I mean even pdocs, therapists, friends, random people in a chat room! no one will listen. They all feel the incredible urge to correct me or "set me straight". Just because everyone thinks I'm wrong why can't I just be allowed to express myself without people coming down on me all the time? FINE ok I'm WRONG! But no matter how wrong I am its REAL TO ME! I HATE IT SO MUCH ! I can't stand to hear about it anymore.

People praise it like a lifestyle, embrace it like a drug! Its sickening, disgusting, hurtful. I cried so hard once the rage passed. And now I'm trying to get out the feelings productively rather then hurting peoples feelings.

I am so embaressed, I feel like a fool. I thought venting would make me feel better but it just made me feel like a monster
 
#2
I'm sorry you felt like this hun :hug: I didn't realise...so caught up was I in trying to argue my point :dry:
I hope you're feeling better now... :hug: :hug: :hug: You have just as much right to express your feelings as anyone else.
Take care, I hope you're having a good sleep right now, and that when you see this you are feeling better :hug:

Lauren
 
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