embarrased about talking about eating disorder

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by downunder, Nov 25, 2008.

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  1. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    Does anybody get embarassed about talking about their disorder? I am seeing a shrink for grief issues, and she noticed I lost some weight, now she keeps asking me questions about it and even sent me off for blood tests. I get quite embarassed and go red in face when talking about it.

    I also don't like my husband seeing me eat, because sometimes I binge. Then when I eat some junk he says "what about your diet", then when I don't eat he tells me I should eat. I am in the low range of healthy weight range.

    Sometimes at functions/party's etc I might eat a bit, and then people tell me off for eating, you can't win.
  2. wunderwood

    wunderwood Well-Known Member

    yup I hate talking about it and it is pretty rare that anyone brings it up to me of those that know, and those that don't probably are thinking it. I act decently normal in front of others, but it is the big pink elephant in the room that everyone sees but doesn't talk about.

    I have been open in therapy, been like this for a long time so it seems stupid to lie. Besides when my weight gets so low I would think it would make appear more insane by not admitting it.

    I think you should at least try to be honest in therapy. And tell people who give you shit about eating or not to screw off, especially random people.

    I'm here if you need to talk
  3. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    I am honest to the shrink about it, just embarrased talking about it. I am just starting to volunteer information about it. I used to only answer if the question was asked. But I can tell by her line of questioning she doesn't really understand. She does say silly things to me, I don't think she realises that when you have an eating disorder you sort of become an expert in nutrition and you know about your metabolism slowing down etc, you know that when you start eating properly the weight will come back on. You know whats has lots of calories and what doesn't. She thinks I am doing it for control, or to punish myself. She tells me that it will lower moods because "studies have shown". I actually feel happier whilst fasting and more energetic.
  4. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    It's good that your honest and even that you volunteer information. How long have you been having these sessions for.
  5. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    I have been having sessions with her for 5 months, weekly to fortnightly. Work has sent me there as part of getting back to full duties. My daughter died 18 months ago and was in the media a lot. Also seeing her for suicidal thoughts.
  6. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    A good therapist or shrink who pays attention to the patient does realize right away if there has been a drastic change in apperance. I dont personaly need to bring it up, looking at me threw him off balance.

    There is a huge difference between starvation and not feeling hunger which is my case. I can go on eating once a week and only if my husband realizes that i am not eating with him, he forces me to have few bites to keep him company at the table as he puts it. I find this approach rather tender and makes me eat even if i am not hungry.

    I've taken for a habit for both of us to have in the fridge a plate of fruit already cut into bite size and crude veggies as well so whenever i remember how long i havent eat anything, i just open the door and take a bite or two to nutrish my body.

    It is a healthy habit and prevents me from loosing more weight too quickly.

    Sorry about your lost hun. I know how it can affect all sphere of a person.

    wishing you all the best, keep us posted on how things are going for you

    lots of love
    granny xx
  7. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    So what's your general opinion in regards to these sessions. Are they helpful and in particular are they helpful in regards to talking about eating disorders.
  8. msking03

    msking03 Member

    I get very embarrassed. I haven't even been able to talk to a professional about it yet (but really need to) and my husband is the only one who knows. I was able to get better for a while as he watched me constantly, but I have been well long enough he is not noticing me slipping again. I'm forcing myself to talk to a professional about it though.

    Why do you think it is embarrassing?

    Because we think it's silly?
    Because we feel we're not small enough to have a problem?
    Because we know people won't understand?
    All of the above?
    Other ideas?

    Also- I am very sorry for your loss. I couldn't imagine losing my daughter.
  9. PostBlue

    PostBlue Member

    I get embarrased talking about my anorexia too. Unless you've had an eating disorder nobody really understands it. They think you starve yourself because ur vain, and you wanna be skinny and pretty. It's deeper than that, we starve because we are hurting and it's a coping mechanism, distraction etc. I hate talking to people about because they think it's a diet and you can "learn" how to be anorexic, and they ask me how to be anorexic because they think that it's a quick fix diet to lose weight.
    I get embarrassed when people ask me about it cuz they always ask about my weight, jean size, and what i eat.
  10. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    I once had someone ask me if I throw up, I don't. I threw up enough whilst pregnant to last me a life time.

    I think I get embarrased because it feels "silly". I am just not used to talking about it. The shrink just tells me to eat, and tells me all the health consequences of not eating. I didn't know that damage is already before you get to the anorexic state of not having periods etc.

    I already know all of this information she is telling me. I told her once to talk to the hand. She was going on and on. Then she told me such things as "people do it for control" and "punish themselves". Then she went on about how I shouldn't punish myself, but I am not doing it for that reason.
  11. PostBlue

    PostBlue Member

    Seriously, doesn't it piss you off when other people try to tell you why you have your eating disorder?
  12. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    I've notice with professionals such as therapists they speak in absolutes rather then suggesting/recommending. So they absolutely know what's causing your disorder.
  13. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    She also says a lot "studies show". Also goes on about how not eating causes depression, I told her I actually feel happier whilst not eating. I don't think it would cause it in 100% of people.
  14. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    The thing is that although lot of studies show this or that, it doesn't means that you can put every individual into such things. At the same time though I'm sure there trying what they feel is best to help you.
  15. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    Saw her again today, more lectures!!!! She says I am fading before her eyes and she can see my weight loss through my face and neck. She wants me to gain 5kg. I am not ready to do that. She even asked me if I knew what a BMI was?? Err duh. Then she told what I could eat etc and how to eat healthy, doesn't she realise most people who don't eat properly are experts on what to eat.

    Get this she even weighed herself on the scales, she is similar to my height, and she weighed 67kg, I told her she should do something about it. :)) I can be very cheeky at times. I weigh 55kg.

    My bmi is 17.6 and she thinks anyone with a bmi below 18 has an eating disorder. I told I am happy at this weight and also when I have been before doctors before such as when I got my kidney operated on they never even mentioned it.

    My blood tests came back as normal.
  16. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    It seems like she is perhaps trying to get you to the level of social norms. Is there anyway you could perhaps change the person you are seeing or even get a 2nd professional opinion on this.

    So basically she wants you to gain 1 stone in weight which is approximately 6kg.

    By the way, I'm guessing she didn't like the cheeky comment you made about her losing some weight.
  17. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    Mystic eyes, she is used to my sense of humour. She has even told me off for making her laugh all the time when talking about serious issues. Just when I am low weight I feel happier and it gets my minds of things such as grief and suicidal thoughts. I actually meant to post this last message to my other thread, but was unable to edit it. I am due to see again next Monday. I always thought you only had a eating disorder if you were 15% below the minimum for your height. My minimum is 60kg, so that makes it 51kg and I don't weigh that.
  18. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    Saw her again today and she is trying to make me see a dietician, I can't do it, I am not ready. Just the thought is making me teary and pushing me to the edge, I am happy how I am. She also says she wants me to limit my exercise. I have to pay to see the dietician, $95.00 and I don't get any refund out of that either.
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