embrace death

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sunshinesunny

Well-Known Member
#1
i dont know if i can get over it
i just dont seem to be able to figure out how the pakistani system works
i dont have a social sense and am politically naive

i have always had been induced to develop a huge moral complex

i dont have a practical mind set and my value system is all idealistic shit

seems like my family and folks hard wired it all into my system very cunningly and subtly

i was brought up strung tightly in that mold
now i guess the dye has been cast

how can i change myself

i have all the negative social and political support
live alone all the time with no association with any social structure

i need help rightaway its way beyong too much to bear now
 

jane doe

Well-Known Member
#2
you musn´t change, what you must do is start hearing what your heart wants and not what other people say, ar what society wants.
 

Terry

Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
#3
Like I said before Sunny, you need to find a way of getting out of Pakistan.

I know from my best friend how restrictive the society can be (as I said in my previous post she is a Pakistan muslim).

How about trying o get out to India. Your english is pretty good and Britain is using Indian call operatives at the moment.
Could be with your english skills you would be able to get a job there and start afresh.
 

Acetaminophen

Well-Known Member
#4
I also have a friend who is struggling from her family who keeps her concealed with traiditons of a certain country which she doesn't believe in . .

it's hard for her and for you as well . .
but that society is what you have now, learn to cope with it . .
and most likely you'll find your way to a better place .
maybe somewhere where you could be wo you really are . .

going in exile won't help . learn to accept your society first before you try to get out of it . .
 

sunshinesunny

Well-Known Member
#5
leaving pakistan well yeah thats what i have always thought would be perhaps the only long lasting real solution. BUT
how do i go it and even if i some how manage it what is the guaratntee that i will be treated an a free individual in the west especially in the post 9 11 world. But again i feel that leaving pakistan is likely to lessen some of my problems though it may create newer ones all the same
 

Terry

Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
#7
Our muslims have had a bit of a back lash since 9 11 but for the most part no one troubles them. As long as you aren't advocating violence then we is a pretty live and let live society.

Leaving your country will of course cause some problems but I think your need for freedom from your family outways the problems of settling somewhere new.
 

sunshinesunny

Well-Known Member
#8
i feel so confused
i am self destructive and self afflictive i guess and i keep trying to think through my problems but i some how dont seem to be able to grasp the roots of it all. i am perplexed
 

Esmeralda

Well-Known Member
#10
Sunny;

I am not precisely certain about the rules regarding how one would go about doing this, but you may be able to enter the U.S. as a political refugee. Also, I wouldn't worry too much about how other Americans might see you. My husband works at a call center where they provide technical support for computers, phones, etc. and they have many Middle-Easterners working there. They even wear the traditional dress (the hajab (sp?)). I do not know if you have a particular religious affiliation, but they are given the proper time and places to pray each day and when office parties are held, the Christian individuals who bring food are careful and respectful in providing Kosher foods so that everyone can enjoy the festivities. The vast majority of Americans are fully aware of the fact that the 9/11 incident was perpetrated by radicals, in the same way that abortion clinics in the U.S. have been bombed by radical Christians. Most of us understand that radicalism exists in every religion and does not indicate a flaw in religion itself or in a certain race or faith. If I were you, I would research the prospect of coming to America. I could probably even get you a referral for a position here through my husband if you were able to manage it. Whatever you do, good luck and stay hopeful.
 

sunshinesunny

Well-Known Member
#11
Sunny;

I am not precisely certain about the rules regarding how one would go about doing this, but you may be able to enter the U.S. as a political refugee. Also, I wouldn't worry too much about how other Americans might see you. My husband works at a call center where they provide technical support for computers, phones, etc. and they have many Middle-Easterners working there. They even wear the traditional dress (the hajab (sp?)). I do not know if you have a particular religious affiliation, but they are given the proper time and places to pray each day and when office parties are held, the Christian individuals who bring food are careful and respectful in providing Kosher foods so that everyone can enjoy the festivities. The vast majority of Americans are fully aware of the fact that the 9/11 incident was perpetrated by radicals, in the same way that abortion clinics in the U.S. have been bombed by radical Christians. Most of us understand that radicalism exists in every religion and does not indicate a flaw in religion itself or in a certain race or faith. If I were you, I would research the prospect of coming to America. I could probably even get you a referral for a position here through my husband if you were able to manage it. Whatever you do, good luck and stay hopeful.
america certainly used to be the land of opportunities some years back but now i see so many pakistanis, who were certainly well established in american society, returning back to pakistan. Seems like muslims in general and pakistanis in particular are not welcome there anymore. Ive lost that figthing spirit, all i want now is peace calm and tranqil stability. I can't nor can anyone of us change the course of world politics so muslim-terrorism connection will continue in onew form or the other.
 

Esmeralda

Well-Known Member
#13
Don't let what you see on the news determine how you view Americans. The media likes to talk about division between the races and cultures in the US, but trust me, the VAST majority of Americans are just trying to live the American dream, no matter what they look like or where they are from. We also have laws preventing discrimination in the workplace and allowing for free expression of religious beliefs without company or government interference. I really think you could be very happy here if you gave it a chance :)
 
#14
Mainstream American media is largely sensationalist crap. Its hardly representative of what everyday life is like. If you don't like the society you're living in, leave. No one said leaving will be easy but you need to determine what your life, happiness and peace of mind is worth to you. Of course you could always kill yourself, some people can't keep it together and prefer to start fresh. But I don't recommend it, the world would be denied of the true you. The you thats yet to see your best days.
 

sunshinesunny

Well-Known Member
#15
coming to america will certainly help me in many ways and may well allow me to help others. but the big question is " how do i get there in the first place?"
 

Xian

Well-Known Member
#17
you musn´t change, what you must do is start hearing what your heart wants and not what other people say, ar what society wants.
I agree...

Sunshine,

You should try to make the best of your life from where you are. Coming to America is not easy, and even when you're here, it's not easy to live. If you think getting out of Pakistan is something you have to do, something you're called to do, then find the way to do it and go where your heart tells you.

If, however, you believe that you have to stay where good people are needed, where binds must be broken, where you have to fight a battle within yourself, then you have to stay and find your own way. Just because you are under pressure to be a certain way, doesn't mean you have to adhere to that pressure. Societies change when certain committed people want them to change; they don't do it alone. And the same goes for life; if you're committed to a different life, you can find it...I've always believed it.
:hug:
 

sunshinesunny

Well-Known Member
#18
I agree...

Sunshine,

You should try to make the best of your life from where you are. Coming to America is not easy, and even when you're here, it's not easy to live. If you think getting out of Pakistan is something you have to do, something you're called to do, then find the way to do it and go where your heart tells you.

If, however, you believe that you have to stay where good people are needed, where binds must be broken, where you have to fight a battle within yourself, then you have to stay and find your own way. Just because you are under pressure to be a certain way, doesn't mean you have to adhere to that pressure. Societies change when certain committed people want them to change; they don't do it alone. And the same goes for life; if you're committed to a different life, you can find it...I've always believed it.
:hug:
you are right when you say that coming to america is not going to be easy and there is no guarantee that i am gonna be succeful there but it seems like you have no idea about pakistani society and the system. and keeping in view of what people have made me go through i feel strinlgy that i should quit on this futile fight here and sart over in some rather freer and fairer society. Thats the only option left if i am gonna survive thorugh all this
 

blackfire

Well-Known Member
#19
You can do it. Be free and nevermind the government or society. i don't know a whole lot about pakistan except it is always at war. Break away from what your family put in your mind. take care.
 
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