Emotional Abuse

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by ciera800, Mar 27, 2013.

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  1. ciera800

    ciera800 Member

    Seven months, Seven months i've been dragged through this maddening struggle and i'm still not free, i'm not here to preach guys, as i type these words i am still a victim, who knows, maybe i always will be, but the important thing is that maybe, by sharing my experience, you won't have to live like this.....if what i'm experiencing right now can be considered a life.....

    It all started seven months ago when i began to go out with this guy, he was funny and honest, i could be myself with him, so we had a really good relationship for about three months, we were both gamers, we both liked minecraft, and he was a freaking genius which i always liked XD. It was perfect everything was.....perfect really.

    Then around our three month anniversary he cheated on me with this one girl who claimed was his "soulmate" but somehow, i don't even know how, he basically talked me into being his lover on the side, and i'm only to blame for that stupid move, i know, these days i wish every day i'd simply had the courage to walk away, but i didn't, maybe i never will......

    Anyways after i basically became his prostitute the mind games started, i became depressed and yet, when i told him about it he said my problems were insignifigant because he had a friend who had been raped and whose father constantly beat her and she didn't complain half as much as i did, so therefore my problems were nothing, then one time he and his friends ganged up on me during a wifi minecraft game and yet, every time, like an idiot i forgave him and took him back....it was a battle of wills and his was stronger than mine, if i wasn't with him i felt empty and drained, i was so depressed.....Maybe, maybe this is all my fault, i let him get to me, i let him get inside my mind and posess me like the demon he was and for all i know, still is and to this day i let him continue. At the moment we're back together after a two or three month break, he isn't dating anyone else (he's never bothered to hide if he was or not, so i can trust that) iwe're both imperfect humans, but together, together we are.....something acceptable to the human race, and apart we're absolute trash, we both know this and so....our relationship might continue forever......i was once so much better i had a hopeful future, and i still do academically, but emotionally, i can't give a damn anymore, i can't feel anything but stress and pain, so take my warning, don't let anyone manipulate you like this, don't be like me and fall for the sweet tongue with jagged teeth.....this isn't a life, i'm simply existing miserably, you don't want this beleive me, the few happy moments i get aren't worth all this pain, and the worst part is i can't tell anyone because they just brush it off as teen angst....oh dear readers if only you knew.......if only you knew that this teen has experienced more pain in a year than some people do their entire lives.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You can get out of this relationship hun you can walk away but you need to get some help some therapy to give you strength to see you are so much more then you think you are hugs
  3. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hi, ciera800. I'm so sorry someone has treated you this way. You deserve better. Total Eclipse has made a good suggestion - some therapy/counselling to help you sort out your own feelings and to give you some support as you work out what you will do.

    Please, remember that you really do deserve to be cared about...and on SF, you will finds lots of people who care. Be safe. :hug:
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Ciera..NO BODY deserves to be treated in this manner, it is unacceptable to most people. Honestly, I would get myself out of the situation and see how happy/sad I am after that? What have you got to lose?
  5. ciera800

    ciera800 Member

    I did leave him, more than once and i just.....i felt empty inside, like i couldn't feel a thing, but when i let him back in, i felt two emotions stress and happiness, and to me, that's better than nothing at all.
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