Emotional Isolation

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Hache, Dec 31, 2010.

  1. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    Look, I must have been here years now, am I the same person? No, I know more, I think differently, my circumstances have changed, of course they have otherwise I probably wouldn't have survived, but one thing remains and always has, emotional isolation.

    I probably didn't realise it before, I wasn't aware when I was 19 and came on here, I am now almost 23 and for the past few months, probably because I do a sociology based course at university, I have analysed myself and tried to understand the cause of everything.

    They say lonliness can be seperated in two main problem areas, social isolation and emotional isolation. The later being a common problem for men apparently. Rewind 3 years ago, I had no friends, no social life, I spent 12 hours a day on the internet. That is when I was at my worst, ever. So I went to university, now I have friends, a social life, I go out a bit. The social isolation is gone, but emotional lonliness remains. I have no one close, I have no gf never have had a relationship, a lot of my friends in my social group are just superficial when it comes to this problem, although I am glad to have overcome the majority of my social isolation because it has improved my general well being.

    There is no easy cure for emotional isolation. I need a close relationship(s), but that isn't something as achieveable as social life. Getting close to someone takes time, you need the right people in the right place, it is all luck, especially for people who have fallen into this stage, and in my case been in it throughout my adolescent life and beyond.

    Sadly this lonliness is effecting many many areas of my life, most notebly my future due to my lack of drive and motivation.

    There is literally nothing I can do about it, at best I will feel ok for a few days but it doesn't last because of this underlying lonliness.
     
  2. NoMoneyToPlease

    NoMoneyToPlease Banned Member

    I have no problem with social isolation,but ironically I have withdrawn from society because I could not face coming back to an empty home.

    I think I am cold and dead inside,the most I could feel during sex was a lustful drive and as a result I have withdrawn from the real world in favour of creating a fantasy "emotional" world.
    Mostly because I feel I need for this in my life.But who knows if it is worth anything,it is obviously not.

    I do not know if I can feel or connect emotionally with another.
    Interactions are stressful,cues are missed,the right words not said and the wrong words put in the wrong place.

    I sometimes experience being less robotic in my dreams.

    I am alone right now because I cannot connect emotionally.Please Hache,find ways to open yourself up,to let it out and let it in.Emotional therapy,cognitive workshops,try anything because although you may not be able to emotionally connect with another the pain of having trapped emotions get worse as you get older.
     
  3. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    Oh :(

    I am afraid that opening up is becoming desperate, clingy, I do not know how to build the emotional side of life, I never have had it, only in brief spells when younger when I might share my ambitions and goals with my parents. Right now I have no one to turn to for that, for my fears, I cannot turn to my parents because of the failures, I do not want to go back to the bad times of the past. At this stage and age I should have built up close relationships, mainly love, but I haven't.

    The truth is I only spill my guts when I am drunk and as a result my friends do not take it seriously. Well no one wants to have someone elses shit dumped on them, and that is a fear, my emotions are at a stage where that is all I have, pain, sadness and fear, that is all I have to share.
     
  4. NoMoneyToPlease

    NoMoneyToPlease Banned Member

    Do not be worried about what emotions you have inside of you,if you can feel something you can feel anything and everything (Lol,sez me the robot).

    Do not worry about people perceiving you as being one for dumping shit on them,shit comes out of your arse,it is a byproduct not a valuable resource which is what your emotions are.You are producing inner gems,not poo.

    Dump on me if you want.
     
  5. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    When you really need a shit you go to the toilet and squeeze it out, when you're done you dont hang around because you dont feel the same.

    What I am trying to say is, from past experiences after I open up and its done I feel awkward with that person for a little while.
     
  6. NoMoneyToPlease

    NoMoneyToPlease Banned Member

    Me too,me too.The "what now?" moment or will the next thing I say in response bring about a furious backlash,and sometimes it does because I get so uptight that I end up saying something inappropriate.

    Do you also find yourself in the act of realising you are putting on a fake smile when in company?
    I do this and it can sometimes send out the wrong messages.
     
  7. ariel2013

    ariel2013 Member

    I feel the same way as you and am pretty much in the same situation. I do have a boyfriend however he makes me feel even more alone when I try and tell him how I feel because he simply does not understand. The only reason I'm still with him is because I'm afraid my isolation will get even worse. I do have a lot of friends at school but it seems like I can't create a bond other then going out sometimes in a large group but even that is fading away. The one friend that I thought was my best friend didn't even spend one day with me since I've been on break. All I did this whole break was watch movies and sleep. I feel so miserable. Now back to school which will be another torture.. ugh. I'm 21 btw.

    However I do believe chainging the way we think has to help but its so hard.
     
  8. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    Yeh people do not know I am down, my parents never realised til I told them.

    Although I also put on the miserable face around certain threads because I want them to know, same friends I admit things to when drunk, all female by the way, I wouldnt act purposefully sad to men.

    I know that feeling. I have spent the last 2 weeks watching tv with my laptop on my lap sitting on a sofa, it has drove me insane, only 1 week of it left.

    I've decided to try and act completely different, over emphasise traits, see if that makes me more appealing.