Emotional right now

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by ShoegazeDaydream, Jun 14, 2016.

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  1. ShoegazeDaydream

    ShoegazeDaydream ~Kid at Heart~

    I know this is TMI, right now I'm on my period and I'm really really clingy, feel lonely and my PTSD and abandonment issues are horrible. Everything is fine right now. Inside my head right now though, I'm freaking out and can't relax. Before I got my period I noticed how I get suicidal thoughts and there horrible.

    Someone who I'm in love with who has aspergers and I told him tonight that I'll read about his disorder. Tonight we were playing games and I messaged him first. He joked with me online and I took it way too seriously and in the end I told him, "Sometimes I feel as if I'm making you mad or that I should go away or leave you alone." He told me that sometimes with his disorder he likes to be alone sometimes and he doesn't know why, it's just how he is and he put a sad face afterwards :(

    Than he explained how sometimes disappears when things get way too stressful for him. After he told me all of this I told him that I understand and if he needs his space tonight I'll respect his wishes because I don't want us fighting with each other in the end or having him disappearing on me. Especially since I have abandonment issues. I have no control over what happens though and I know this. He's been here for me through everything and stuck by me and visited me at the hospital when I got Kidney Stones and he hugged me goodbye and comforted me when I left his house this week when I visited him. Believe I broke down due to PMS which I have no. I broke down in his room and thought that everyone hates me, that nobody likes me or cares about me. He kept comforting me and telling me that he cares for me and that he does like me.

    As of right now I can't sleep and I'm stressed out because of these abandonment thoughts. I'm so afraid that he'll get so distant and soon he'll abandonded me too......just like everyone else. I keep going back in forth and battling this. If he leaves, it's his loss and was never my friend and than the negative thought: If he leaves me, my whole life will be a mess. Which is almost kinda true almost. He's my only true friend that lives in Florida anyways. I'm just so tired of worrying and having all these abandonment issues. :(
  2. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    If he has Asperger's syndrome then he is going to have a hard time understanding what you say. It is on the Autism spectrum--I think... Anyway, I'm going off a superbly foggy memory, but from what I know, it is very difficult for them to detect tone. In other words: how or the way you say something; that is, the inflection in your voice - does not always register as easily with or for them as the rest of us (& honestly it can be quite the conundrum regardless!)... Am I making any sense? So you say something sarcastically for example -- he may take you literally. I'd probably just tell him it was your cycling that got the best of you and blame it on that. But I hardly know best in said situation. Kind regards-
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi honey, I am so sorry you are going through this right now and sorry to hear about PMS syndrome. I do not get periods because I am on the depo provera(contraceptive injection), have you tried going on that to help with these issues or something similar? I think it might help a lot. I feel for you I really do. May I ask what your diagnosis is? You have a a good heart and people will like you, don't worry about that. If he's a true friend he will still around, there's no doubt about that, there's nearly 7 billion people out there for you to meet, hopefully you can make some new friends on top of the ones you already have. For what it's worth I think you are an amazing person and you deserve better than this! You be the judge :)
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