Emotional scar. ruining my life and my future

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Volcom23, Jan 4, 2010.

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  1. Volcom23

    Volcom23 Member

    Is there any way in totally removing scars in the face? I have two visible scars located at my cheeks and at my forehead. The scar in the forehead is the most critical one because it is ruining my life and my future. I know, you wouldn't understand me. I am suffering from so much shyness and this suffering is exacerbated by these scars. I had already gone to a plastic surgeon to fix this hole-like scar in my forehead. Unfortunately, my problem got worse because the new scar from surgery is really visible and its shape is like letter 'Z'. Worst is that it will take 6 months to totally heal the scar and there will be no assurance that the scar could be totally removed. Now, I'm stuck and I cannot think well. I am always hiding the scar since then with my bangs. Now, my classmates teased me about my bangs and I am totally devastated about it. I've been aware now (due to the teasing) that my hairstyle is really bad but I cannot change it. I am totally stuck and cannot think of a particular solution. I felt compelled to show it but really can't. At the same time, my classmates tease me about my hairstyle because it's really bad (the bangs is bad because my hair is very dry) . However, I cannot change it for if I will change it the scar will be seen. I want to move on but really can't. As long as this scar is in my forehead, I will be forever bothered. Please help me because it's really ruining my life. I cannot go out with friends because of the wind-- I am afraid my scar will be seen if there is a strong wind. I also cannot face in front of the class because people will think how bad my hairstyle is, and felt ashamed and humiliated because I am hiding something behind my bangs. I think I am the only one experiencing this kind of problem. I even consider this suffering as more intense than cancer. It's emotional torture. My head aches everyday whenever I'm in school with people around me. Because of this scar and bad hairstyle, I had developed an intense social phobia and chronic depression for almost one year. Your help would save my life. I cannot think out of a box right now,.
  2. bubblin girl

    bubblin girl Well-Known Member

    how are you?
    im so sorry to hear that.did you try to wear concealer (kind of make up) they are so good for those things,its design for those kind of things.peope even boys on tv wear it and its hide everything.
    take care :hug:
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey sorry people can just be asses I bought daughter cream for scars from pharmacy it was dear but it helps fade the scar Ask your pharmacist. Also there are creams that cover scars as well. Ask about that to in the pharmacy or make up area scars can be hidden from view with natural cover ups. The cream really helps fade the scars it is about 25 dollars for a small jar but it works. take care
  4. Volcom23

    Volcom23 Member

    I'm depressed and I'm not feeling normal. It's like darkness creeps within me. Thank you for the concern. Maybe, I will try to consult this again to a dermatologist and ask some concealers. Hopefully I could recover from this pain. Thanks.
  5. optimistic

    optimistic Member

    hi volcom23,
    I don't get why scar on your head is such a big concern for you. In fact,it is a matter of time that it will get healed.

    I had friend in school who suffered from vitiligo(white patches on skin). Initially he was ashamed and used to hide them. But after some time, his situation worsened and because he couldn't hide it anymore, he told us about his disease. Everyone was fine with his condition and it didn't affect our friendship at all.

    So,I think you could explain to your friends the cause of your scars without losing your temper and I guess you will be fine. I am sorry but I don't know much about treatment of scar..

    My colleague used to hide frontal hair loss by wearing skullcap all time. i dont know, but it may help in your case..

    just a thought..:hug:
  6. Volcom23

    Volcom23 Member

    I want to talk this problem to my friends but really can't. I imagined feeling like dying confronting this problem to my friends. I don't know what will be their response and what will they think of me. I know this problem is really out of proportion. It's just a small scar. But as long as the scar is there, I am forever bothered. When shall I grow maturely and face my fear? I kept on thinking about that the whole day everyday. That's why my head aches.

    I even considered suicide but I know that it would be ridiculous and irrational if I will do that. It would be silly if I commit suicide just because of a scar.

    How could I open this to my friends and the people around me? I am a well-known person in our school and now I'm facing crisis because I cannot accept of who I am, that I have a scar and I am hiding it. I want to show it totally but really can't. I don't know what will be the reaction of my friends and the people around me. That's why I am really bothered with this problem.
  7. optimistic

    optimistic Member

    i think you are over thinking your problem. Why you are so afraid of people's reaction at this thing? Is there some reason behind this scar that is holding you back from opening up?

    Imagine your friend got scars and he is telling about the accident how he got that. Would you find it funny or shameful about him?? definitively not. then why r u different from him?

    It is not a like piercing or tattoo that you made it yourself and it doesnt look cool . This is beyond your control. First tell your close friend and i am very sure his reaction will be positive.
  8. dreaminghome

    dreaminghome Well-Known Member

    Hi, I do not know exactly how your scars are, so not sure if my ideas can help. About your bangles, I'd keep them if I was in you, I also like bangles a lot, if anyone says anything, something like "don't you think they're so cool!! all celebs have them now!!!" may just shut some people up.
    And as for the scar on your forehead, I'd say you have been in a car accident and that was the only injury you have got and end up with a "isn't it horrible? I hate it!!!" it makes it even more believable.
    About your haircut, I think you could go to a regular hairdresser and state that you want that scar from car accident covered (as you want it, of course), you do not need to give details about how you have got it, they aren't new to these things, scars on face aren't fun. Also, if you can, go to a hairdresser that doesn't know you, one at the other end of town (if there is, of course), you could always get away with a "yeah, I just moved in town and I want a new haircut, but want to cover this from a car accident..." hairdressers come out with the most weird haircuts, I am sure there is more than just one that could help you.
    Good luck!
  9. Volcom23

    Volcom23 Member

    Yes, you are absolutely true. It's really beyond my control. I don't know why I am thinking like this about the scar. It is just small but it was really as if more intense than a cancer problem. This problem is a kind of weird and ridiculous. Maybe due to the teasing that I was really got very problematic about this. I am a painfully shy person and I have a mild social anxiety. Maybe my shyness contributes to my problem. The worst thing is that my social anxiety got very intense as of now. That's why I cannot perform my task normally. However, I am looking forward for this. I know I can solve this problem.
  10. Volcom23

    Volcom23 Member

    Maybe why I got very serious about this problem is that I was teased by my classmates for having that kind of bangs (maybe they look ridiculous for them) in order to conceal the scar. It was not actually the scar that was teased, it's my hairstyle and my behaviour (my shyness). That's why it's really ruining my life because I am overstressed thinking how bad the bangs look and how could I get the courage to show the scar. Another thing is that my social anxiety got very worse because of the teasing. I try to hide from the people, to my friends even to my close relatives. I already talked this to my parents and siblings but they don't seem to understand me. They helped me to go to surgeon, to a psychologist but still they got annoyed because I still have the problem. It's really ridiculous. I kept on thinking why I had this problem. What did I do? Did I done something very punishable? I am really drowned of so much sickness now. Still those irrational anxious thoughts haunt me everyday. I felt like dying.
  11. Volcom23

    Volcom23 Member

    It's been a hard fighting year for me. Everyday, I have to relieve myself because of this headache I feel. It never perishes. It's there in my head.

    I had thought that this psychological suffering is more intense than level 4 cancer. It's ruining my emotions and worst my life and my future. But who's to blame? My parents? Yes, I could blame my parents because they were never sensitive to my emotional needs. My emotional aspect in life is really broken. It's like hell. I cannot get out. I want to move on but can't. Why is this fucking small scar is ruining my life. It's just fucking small. I felt very bad about my image, about my hairstyle. All these things are fucking irrational things that are sucking my time and my resources. I cannot get out. It's more intense than hell. I'd wondered why I am treated like this. What did I do?
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