I'm exhausted. Everything seems pointless. There's plenty I need to be doing but I can't get up the motivation to do any of it. I don't care anymore, I don't feel anything anymore. Right at this moment I honestly don't care whether I live or die. I've lost the motivation to write this post already. It's like, what's the point? I think if I was bleeding to death right now I wouldn't even be bothered enough to try to stop it. But it's ok cos I can't be bothered to cut myself right now either. Committing suicide would take too much effort. Just remembering to breathe feels like it's too much effort. My chest feels heavy like my heart is tired. I really do wonder if the heart just stops beating if it can't be bothered to pump anymore. That would be nice, that would be bliss.