I am still at a point where my emotions are out of control. I keep trying to maintain control, but from time to time, I am still losing that battle. Worse yet, I am now into the phase where I have previously tried to off myself. I can feel the tug of that dark emotion , pulling at me. Within the past few weeks I came close to seeking that form of relief. I can feel that now, urging me . I had hoped that by now, I would be past the worst part of my meds cycle, and that my emotions would have calmed down. However, my emotions are worse than ever. In addition, i have been in so much pain , that I finally went in to see my family doctor to get blood tests to rule out anything else. I was told that I need to take additional pain meds. I feel that I need to take additional meds to help calm me down too. To anyone who I have upset, I apologize. Sadcat Please no negative comments.