Emptiness

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Raichupuppy, Nov 6, 2012.

  1. Raichupuppy

    Raichupuppy Active Member

    Lately I've had a stale, empty feeling in my gut. You know that kind of feeling you get when you feel unfulfilled and your life is missing something? I think I'm going through some sort of early-life crisis.
    First Issue
    One of the biggest things thats on my back is, I want to have a baby with my fiance. But I'm far too young and I don't have a stable income. I know better than to have a baby now, it's absolutely out of the question. Thats where it depresses me. I can't in good conscience have one at age 18. My fiance and I aren't even out of the house yet, money is so hard to get right now....I've been looking everywhere for jobs, and my dad won't leave me alone about it and he won't stop talking about money, one of my LEAST favorite subjects to talk about. All the jobs around here are family owned and not hiring. Also, whenever I managed to get some scratch I spend it all immediatly. I'm insanely reckless and irresponsible with money and it's an extremely bad habit to break, especially when I need food.
    Second issue.
    I hate the town I'm in. I want to go home to Florida. Everyone here is rich and arrogant and full of themselves. The highschoolers are rude and obnoxious, and the college students are brain dead. Quintus (my fiance) hates his collage, and already wants to quit in the first semester. He wants to be a graphic designer and he's really really good at it, but he's convinced a degree from Bucks County Community College isn't going to help him. He hates almost all of his teachers and he hates all of the students, except for about 4 he's made friends with. I want to move in with him and his brother, Julius, in West Chester, but it costs $500 to bring pets with me, and I can't go anywhere without my chihuahua and ferrets....Apartments here cost almost $1000 a month to live in, and the houses....I can't even think about that.
    Third Issue
    I feel like I'm not doing anything in my life. I play it safe too much and haven't done anything. I can't afford to go out and do anything either. I'm a beginner taxidermist. 'Oh good for you kid, you kinda did something. Get a real fucking job'. I want to try a lot of things but just don't have the money.....I'm at a shit age. My friend suggested I become a fraternity ward nurse, for my baby thing....But I just don't know. I just want things to skip the hard parts and just be stable.
    I hate the people that were just given everything. Why is it always spoiled pot-heads too? This stoner loser I know got $20,000 from his grandma and you know what he wants to do with it? He wants to buy a truck with it. He says he's going to live in it. He quit highschool as a junior. This other kid my fiance knows is a drug dealer and he has his own house and a stable income. He's our age, 18. Already has a house because he sells pot. I don't hold any resentment against HIM PERSONALLY, he's actually pretty smart. I just hate people who luck out like that. It isn't fair. What about the people who are actually trying and working?
    I just....I just need some suggestions on how to fill this emptiness.
     
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    It is very difficult when forced between different choices in life. There are no right answers or wrong answers to your issues that I can see, you seem very good at weighing out the pros and cons of the decisions. I would simply suggest setting some priorities and back planning. What do you want to be doing by age 25? Where do you want to be at in life? Then work backward to come up with the most direct and logical course to achieve these things. Like any plans, things happen and change so you have to adjust sometimes but if you have a firm idea of which are most important to you then you can more easily give up on the ones that are counter productive to achieving goals. So far as others - it is frustrating but worrying and spending energy being concerned about the actions and lives of others that you have no control over at all does not help you achieve your goals.....

    Take Care

    Ben
     
  3. Wispiwill

    Wispiwill Well-Known Member

    To address your last issue first - you ARE doing something with your life. You're living it. You've got a fiance, a potential career (you said you're a beginner taxidermist), several animals that are dependent upon you and, just as importantly, are responsible enough to realise that you need to be in a stable place in your life before starting a family. I wish I could promise you that you will definitely have that family if you just wait, but I can't - no-one knows what lies around the corner - but I CAN say that, age-wise at least, you have time. Get yourself and your fiance into a stable place and then you have a better chance of getting what you want. I can't promise you the empty feeling will go away but looking after children can make you busy enough that you don't notice (at least for a while anyway).

    I hope things go well for you. Take care and Good Luck.