Lately I've had a stale, empty feeling in my gut. You know that kind of feeling you get when you feel unfulfilled and your life is missing something? I think I'm going through some sort of early-life crisis. First Issue One of the biggest things thats on my back is, I want to have a baby with my fiance. But I'm far too young and I don't have a stable income. I know better than to have a baby now, it's absolutely out of the question. Thats where it depresses me. I can't in good conscience have one at age 18. My fiance and I aren't even out of the house yet, money is so hard to get right now....I've been looking everywhere for jobs, and my dad won't leave me alone about it and he won't stop talking about money, one of my LEAST favorite subjects to talk about. All the jobs around here are family owned and not hiring. Also, whenever I managed to get some scratch I spend it all immediatly. I'm insanely reckless and irresponsible with money and it's an extremely bad habit to break, especially when I need food. Second issue. I hate the town I'm in. I want to go home to Florida. Everyone here is rich and arrogant and full of themselves. The highschoolers are rude and obnoxious, and the college students are brain dead. Quintus (my fiance) hates his collage, and already wants to quit in the first semester. He wants to be a graphic designer and he's really really good at it, but he's convinced a degree from Bucks County Community College isn't going to help him. He hates almost all of his teachers and he hates all of the students, except for about 4 he's made friends with. I want to move in with him and his brother, Julius, in West Chester, but it costs $500 to bring pets with me, and I can't go anywhere without my chihuahua and ferrets....Apartments here cost almost $1000 a month to live in, and the houses....I can't even think about that. Third Issue I feel like I'm not doing anything in my life. I play it safe too much and haven't done anything. I can't afford to go out and do anything either. I'm a beginner taxidermist. 'Oh good for you kid, you kinda did something. Get a real fucking job'. I want to try a lot of things but just don't have the money.....I'm at a shit age. My friend suggested I become a fraternity ward nurse, for my baby thing....But I just don't know. I just want things to skip the hard parts and just be stable. I hate the people that were just given everything. Why is it always spoiled pot-heads too? This stoner loser I know got $20,000 from his grandma and you know what he wants to do with it? He wants to buy a truck with it. He says he's going to live in it. He quit highschool as a junior. This other kid my fiance knows is a drug dealer and he has his own house and a stable income. He's our age, 18. Already has a house because he sells pot. I don't hold any resentment against HIM PERSONALLY, he's actually pretty smart. I just hate people who luck out like that. It isn't fair. What about the people who are actually trying and working? I just....I just need some suggestions on how to fill this emptiness.