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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Cryotech, Aug 1, 2014.

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  1. Cryotech

    Cryotech New Member

    I'm 20 years old, and all I feel is an overwhelming amount of pain and emptiness right now. I'm not in school because for the longest time I wanted to kill myself everyday because I was in school, I have not been hired once in the past year and my parents say that they will kick me out of the house if I don't get a job or go back to school. Part of me doesn't really care right now. My best friend is gone for a year, studying abroad and I can't explain how I feel to my family because when I do they get mad at me for telling them. All I want right now is to die. I now regret my time spent enjoying video games as a kid because I don't know how to go out and meet new people to hang out with which leaves me stuck here in my room silently crying and wishing that I would finally give in and kill myself. At this point I don't know what to do. Nobody is hiring me, I don't have many people to talk to, I desperately want to go meet new friends but don't know how and the pain and emptiness are ruining all attempts at trying. Does anybody have a suggestion for dealing with these feelings? Meeting new people? Anything would be appreciated, I just don't want to feel this emptiness anymore.
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi welcome to the forum. You will get support and care from this forum.

    You are at a young age and have a lot of life to give. It's totally understandable why you are down in life and it's fine to cry as that pours out the emotion. Do not feel like your alone in life as there many others who suffer in life but hide behind a smile.

    DO NOT DO ANYTHING, as YOU have rest of life to live. In terms of living life, appreciate the simple things in life such a people and others who like you. In order to come out of your crisis you need to focus, I would do some volunteering work with others that will get you out of the house and not staring at four walls. Over-thinking does not help you but a change of environment and a weekly routine will help you.

    Also speaking to helplines where you want to remain nameless will help as speaking to someone will give you comfort. Remember you are not alone but life is worth living and you are important to me. I might be a stranger in the world but I do not like others feeling alone and thinking no one cares. I'm glad you reached out here as it ths forum will help you in your crisis. Please keep posting here and we will help you.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 1, 2014
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi there, you may think you are alone. I can assure you there are A LOT of people that feel very alone and unable to socialize. Your family getting mad at you for how you feel is them not understanding, not being able to cope or they don't want to believe that you are mentally unstable. Yes, I would definitely suggest going out to meet new people, perhaps if you were just volunteering somewhere it would give you a sense of purpose (it did for me) and then they wouldn't be so angry. But I totally understand your hatred for school, I'm the no1 hater of school, ahhh even thinking about it drives me nuts, I was bullied very bad. Looking back from my experience anyway, I'm unsure about why you hate school but would switching school maybe help. We are here for you, don't do something silly or anything you might regret. Keep reaching out and talking to us, we are real people not just letters on a computer =) best of luck to you x
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