Emptiness

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Chaos_Zero, Aug 5, 2009.

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  1. Chaos_Zero

    Chaos_Zero Member

    I think it's been a good few years that I've had this feeling of emptiness, like there is something in my life I am missing. This has been going on for so long that it seems like it has been an eternity.

    I am left asking my self what it is that I am missing? I love video games, I can't get enough but at the same time it cannot be the cause. I do wish to spend more time with my father, but I could always keep in touch with him via email and phone. I always wanted to be loved by a significant other (I'm sure this is the most likely cause of this emptiness), but because of my lacking in the ability to detect social cues, I feel that I could never obtain a relationship like that (Plus I'm not that attractive anyway since I eat a lot).

    So many factors that could be the cause, but I wish I knew which one it was. Could it be that I'll never know? I wish I did know what it was and if it was even obtainable.

    It's times like these I consider suicide; I'm not afraid of death but at the same time my parents love me too much. My mom's an athiest; if I die she'll think I'm gone forever. My dad's a religious man; if I kill myself he'll think I'll burn in hell forever. Another reason I won't commit suicide is because I want to live my dreams of being a successful writer.

    I'm conflicted :sad:
     
  2. confuzzle

    confuzzle Well-Known Member

    I know the feeling of emptiness. Probably not your emptiness, but the emptiness of a man who gave part of his soul to another, never to be returned.

    It sucks balls...and at times it comes back. I talk to others when i feel empty, because I know that if I feel empty, then at least they can show their feeling of caring to me...slightly comforting at those times. Better than being stuck in my head making it worse.

    It's not my place to say you need to find meaning in your life. I dont even know what meaning my life will hold. Least I know that I live because some part of me WANTS to, listen to it! Even if you dont believe anything is worth living for, that you will be an empty, unfeeling husk of a person, there is that part of you that still wants to live. Live for all the things undone and unsaid in your life. The potential is great.

    Hope that helps.
     
  3. Chaos_Zero

    Chaos_Zero Member

    You know what man? It does help.

    Thanks a bunch, :rockon:
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I would hope you continue your dream of being a writer in doing so this emptiness you feel with be replace with accomplishment and happiness. You are compassionate shown about you care for your parents and how it would hurt them if you left this world. Go after your dreams it is one step to helping the pain and emptiness to go away.
     
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